呃稿費。

中午時分，坐在office，大腦開turbo （平時返工都冇咁搏盡），希望藴漾靈感，在這兒寫點什麽。

20分鐘（吃完一碗魚蛋魚腐米綫）後，決定放棄。腦袋便秘，誰也拿它沒法。

這可能也是幸福的反映 -- 生活中沒有什麽值得報告的事情，一切如常運作。平淡是福。

（嘩，我呢種心態，真的絕對有條件做師奶。）

（我都話我份工好得閒傢啦，可以用15分鐘發呆，然後再用30分鐘打這篇文。嘿嘿。）

（但我工作時真的很勤力嗰喎，又盡責，交功課又快又準（下省3000字...)。 唔信問我老闆吖。）

You could grow a baby in seven months.

(OK you could not, but you know what I mean. Or you don't. Whatever.)

-------

Last week, the long-awaited reprints of our wedding photos were finally ready for pick up. Before we hired Raymond, our wedding photographer, we had been fore-warned about his lack of efficiency when it comes to "post-wedding productions". We went ahead and hired him nevertheless because we were truly impressed with his photography skills and passion.

Anyway. Fast-forward to February this year, 3 months after our wedding, and we had a first look of our wedding pictures (in A3 casting sheets - we had to use a magnifying glass to help us see the pictures clearly). It was worth the wait. Both BB and I were really glad we hired him to shoot us on probably the biggest day in our lives. We quickly went through all the thumb prints and asked him to help us develop some reprints, so that we can send the photos to our friends and relatives.

That was another four months' wait.

Anyway, now we have all the reprints, and very shortly we will be sending the photos and thank-you cards (which are now being printed and will be ready in two weeks) to all our guests. I know some of them have been waiting patiently for our thank you notes (which should according to western custom be sent within a month after getting married)...

It feels great when the last task on your "wedding to-do list" is about to be accomplished :)

榮幸。

剛與E通電話。E是我的舊同事，大家以前在律師行工作時是鄰居（她的office在我隔壁），又同是基督徒，所以會常常互相扶持鼓勵（在我們的舊公司，不互相扶持鼓勵的話，會發癲的）。

後來我們倆都離開了律師行，做了in-house counsel （公司法律顧問）。但依舊保持聯絡。

今天和E通電，因爲她正在轉工，現在有幾個機會在面前，每個機會也有優點缺點。“所以我想找個我信任的人談談，看看她有什麽意見。”她認爲我就是那個她信任的人。

心理由衷的覺得榮幸。能夠得到別人的尊重與信任，比任何東西也來得珍貴。

其實以前我都覺得我思想都算挺成熟的，分析能力也可以。但人大了，認識的人多了，便越發覺跟很多人相比，自己其實不外如是（有時甚至幼稚得很 -- 叫得大笨，可以有幾醒吖？）。 話雖如此，現在E對我投以信任票，我當然也會盡力替她分析，希望協助她做出適當的選擇。臨收綫時，我不忘加一句“I will pray for you.”畢竟到最後，人所知道所掌握到的都有限，只能依靠上帝的大能引領。

忘了說，其實E也是我很信任的人。她經歷過的事，不是每個人也能熬過，但她卻能把一切都化爲榮耀歸於神。對她，我有無比尊重。

Where is God when it Hurts?

I started reading Philip Yancey's "Where is God when it Hurts?" this morning on my way to work. The very first paragraph in Chapter One captured me immediately:

"I feel helpless around people in great pain. Helpless, and also guilty. I stand beside them, watching facial features contort and listening to the sighs and moans, deeply aware of the huge gulf between us. I cannot penetrate their suffering, I can only watch. Whatever I attempt to say seems weak and stiff, as if I'd memorised the lines for a school play."

Philip Yancey is my favourite Christian writer, and for good reasons. He always approaches sensitive and difficult topics from a very practical perspective, with honest sharing of his life experience. He does extensive research - not just in the library or on the Internet for theories and analysis, but by speaking to real people with real issues, which makes his books a lot more human and touching. Reading his books is like a walk in the park, except that you leave the park with a stronger biblical faith without realising it.

回家。

過去兩星期，我流了很多眼淚，也思考了很多事情。

我思考得最多的一件事情，是關於天堂。

---------------

星期二晚，葬禮進行期間，我坐在教堂裏，聼着A的太太，親人，好友忍着眼淚跟我們分享A的生平趣事。我看見安詳地睡在棺木裏的A。我看着一段有關A由兒時到大的photos slide show，包括一張於去年聖誕節大夥兒在我們家開派對時拍下的照片。我忍住淚在台上讀了詩篇121篇。我唱了很多歌頌上帝的聖詩。

那晚，我哭了很多。但同時間，我不斷在想：不知道A現在怎樣？他會不會正在天堂，看着他最愛的DVD，吃着他最愛的Mos Burger，完全不知道我們為他哭？還是他特地從天堂走了下來，坐在我們當中，為我們的傷心而難過？

實情是，我心裏真的有這麽一丁點點羡慕他，現在終於可以踏足天堂。永生的盼望終於實踐。不知道天堂是怎麽樣的呢。

我們相信基督的人，在眼淚流盡過後，還有信心和盼望。我們相信終有一天會在天家重聚，我們盼望這一天到臨。我們知道，我們現在說了再見，以後真的是會再見的。這是痛失親人的人最大的安慰。

------------------

前幾天，我跟父親說：“不如我帶你返教會吖”。父親的第一反應是：“唓，你間教會講英文嘅。”（而不是“唓我都唔信嘅/唔好搞我/講耶穌悶死人啦/等等照頭淋冷水答案。）心裏暗喜。即是如果我帶他去一家中文教會他就不會抗拒啦。我跟他說，如果他跟媽咪都信了主的話，我便死而無憾了。我說這話時的認真，希望他會感受到。

真的。知道自己雖然要離開，但跟心愛的人會有重聚的一天，還有什麽需要牽掛？

當年今日。

今年的六四，爲了種種原因，令人倍加傷感。

悼念活動我不會去了，但歷史，我亦不會忘記。

一段。

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day - and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing." --- 2 Timothy 4:7-8

“那美好的仗我已打過了，當跑的路我已經跑盡了，所信的道我已經守住了。從此以後，有公義的冠冕為我存留，就是按着公義審判的主到了那日要賜給我的；不但賜給我，也賜給凡愛慕他顯現的人。” --- 提摩太後書4章7-8節

Next stop, Wonderland.

What we have is a promise. A wonderful promise of eternal bliss in Heaven. A promise from God that even though we say goodbye to our loved ones in this world, we will meet again soon in a much better world, so much better that we with our finite minds cannot begin to comprehend.

So this is not really goodbye. We cry and we mourn, but we know this is not goodbye.

I will see you again, A.

don't worry. I am ok. thank you.

It has taken me the longest time to come up with this post.

A, a very good friend of BB's and mine, was admitted into the Intensive Care Unit of Queen Mary Hospital on Tuesday due to a brain haemorrhage. The bleeding took place near the brain stem so no surgery could be performed. He went into a coma soon after he was rushed to the hospital. So the last week has seen his family and friends crying, praying and going on a collective emotional roller coaster ride.

Now, after much struggling and false alarms, A has been moved out of the ICU and into the general ward. He is still in a coma, his brain stem having been damaged to a large extent. He is sustained by a life-support machine, and things are not likely to improve in the future, according to the doctors.

Sorry for the seemingly matter-of-factly account of this event. There was so much I wanted to tell you, but all words failed me.

Give me some time - to digest the whole thing, to let reality sink in. Right now a part of me seems to think that maybe this was all just a terrible nightmare, and that I would wake up eventually and everything would be fine.

If you belive in God, please pray for my friend A, his wife C (who is also a very good friend of ours) and both A and C's family. They have been surprisingly strong so far, but they need every support and prayer we can offer.

In the past seven days, I have seen the glory of God, the power of prayers, and the strength of friendship and family love. I will tell you all about it, but maybe later. Let us just focus on today. Every day is a gift from God.

Right now I am still numb from the suddenness of it all. Thank you to all of you who read my previous post and wondered if I was ok. I am. The fact that I can breathe on my own and move my arms and type this post makes me almost the luckiest person on earth. How could I never realise that.

The longest three days

I cannot begin to describe the emotions I have gone through over the past three days.

I shall disappear in the coming few days.

But I won't be gone for long. I will be back, with a new heart, new friendships, new attitude and new confidence, and hopefully some great news.

------------------

I believe in Jesus, I believe He is the Son of God,
I believe He died and rose again,
I believe He came for us all.
And I believe He is here now,
Standing in our midst;
Here with the power to heal now,
And the grace to forgive.

(From "I Believe In Jesus", Marc Nelson ©1987 Mercy / Vineyard Publishing)

My new toy

I got a surprise present from BB the other night. It was a slim and cool Nokia 6300 mobile phone. My old phone was close enough to be declared a museum exhibit, and although I had been toying with the idea of getting a new phone, I never got around to actually buying one. Partly because I quite like my old phone - it is a very old model, but it works well for someone who only uses a phone for calling and receiving calls; partly because I dread all the hassle in switching phones, you know, the profile setting, the contact list updating, etc.

Having said that, I was still pleasantly surprised to find the little retangular box on the bed covered by the duvet. The last thing you expect to see on your bed when you jump into it is a new mobile phone right?

For a person who hates surprises, BB has pulled it off perfectly this time.

想說。

雖然我極笨，雖然我記性極差，但有些大是大非的事情，不難明白，你想忘記也忘不了。“屠城”也好，“血腥鎮壓”也好，“春夏之間的一場風波”也好，都是形容詞罷了。我經歷過的，我眼看見的，我很清楚是什麽，不容你亦容不下你去告訴我。

在那火紅火熱的期間，我曾經買過一本記錄相集（應該是明報出版的吧，都忘了），我一邊看，一邊流眼淚。幾年前搬家，從床下底翻出這書。幾經掙扎，最後決定把它丟掉。既然有些東西你永遠都不能忘記，也用不着這些物證吧，我當時想。

現在很後悔。我恨不得一手把這書車去馬先生的臉。

Photos!

I have created a link to my Flickr photos here! Check out the side bar on your right.

嘆十聲。

回來了。除了因爲見到貓咪比較開心之外，勁失落。十二小時之前還跟伯伯在河邊吃牛角包喝咖啡，然後再在湖邊拖手漫步（嘩好浪漫呀!）（其實不是太浪漫，真的，如果你們聽到我們的對白 -“嘩，湖底果舊咩嚟傢？”“大笨，死老鼠呀！”)，一眨眼便已經在家執行李洗衫幫貓梳毛吸塵上網check公司電郵。

Life is back to where it should be now. *sigh*

Already planning the next trip. However, I just checked my annual leave entitlement for this year, and (shock and horror!) I have SIX days left. Super depressing.

More meat?

For a person who doesn't eat beef, who won't naturally choose pork on a menu, and who loves potatoes but knows that they add pounds on you, eating in Switzerland can be very challenging...

There are very few fish or chicken dishes in Switzerland (or at least in German Switzerland), whether in posh restaurants, bistros, pizzerias, or simply open market food stalls. Beef and pork are the most common types of meat eaten here. And the Swiss like their potatoes. I suspect a vegetarian has little chance of survival here.

Having said that, I still managed to fill my stomach full almost every meal, partly thanks to the hospitality of our friend G who took us to really nice restaurants, and partly due to my curiosity to try Switzerland's bratwurst, local ice-creams, cheese sandwiches and yoghurts.

Must only eat carrot sticks tomorrow.

瑞士 - 大貓。十字架。極倦的人。

今天太累，所以只留在酒店附近闖蕩。去了Lowendenkmal。早上遊人不多，我站在園裏看着這垂死獅子的石刻，有點傷感。Mark Twain形容這石雕為“the saddest and most moving piece of rock in the world”，果真有點道理。

然後去Museggmauer。走在城橋上，陽光的溫暖恰當的落在身上，迎面吹來清涼的風。遠望Lake Lucerne和雪山，近看高矮有序的歐陸式房子，或疏或密的散佈在古城裏。

踏入十一點。首先我聽到左邊不遠處的教堂鐘聲，齊整規律的噹噹聲，莊嚴平和。然後在我右邊遠處又傳來另一輪的教堂鐘聲，數秒後又有另一間教堂的鐘聲響起。在這短短的兩分鐘内，我被遠遠近近七`八間教堂的鐘聲包圍着。那種奇妙的感覺，現在我知道，叫做心靈洗滌。

-----

伯伯的conference今天完結。今晚會吃餐好的 - 已於朋友介紹，全Lucerne最好味最地道的餐廳訂了位子。

明天開始，我跟伯伯齊齊上路。

The architecture of happiness

I am so glad I brought Alain de Botton's book with me on this trip.

While I was walking up and down the towns of St Gallen, Zurich, Bellinzona, Locarno and Basel, admiring their architectures of churches, town halls, museums or just simply some random residential buildings (the vibrant colours in Locarno! the warm wooden houses in St Gallen!), this passage found its way into my head - "So eloquent are materials and colours, then, that a facade can be made to speak of how a country should be ruled and which principles ought to govern its foreign policy. Political and ethical ideas can be written into window frames and door handles. An abstract glass box on a stone plinth can deliver a paean to tranquillity and civilisation."

In Kunstmuseum this afternoon, upon seeing a painting or two that touched me, a sudden sense of void and sadness overcame me. On my train journey back to the hotel, I read this: "Our sadness won't be of the searing kind but more like a blend of joy and melancholy: joy at the perfection we see before us, melancholy at an awareness of how seldom we are sufficiently blessed to encounter anything of its kind. The flawless object throws into perspective the mediocrity that surrounds it. We are reminded of the way we would wish things always to be and of how incomplete our lives remain."

And then some more: "While a common reaction to seeing a thing of beauty is to want to buy it, our real desire may be not so much to own what we find beautiful as to lay permanent claim to the inner qualities it embodies...Endeavouring to purchase something we think beautiful may in fact be the most unimaginative way of dealing with the longing it excites in us, just as trying to sleep with someone may be the bluntest response to a feeling of love."

This is a perfect alternative travel guidebook.

瑞士 - 這個下午，我的心蕩漾在巴塞爾

（今天行完美術館，人都優雅一點。）

-----------

Basel的文化氣息很濃，尤其是在古城那邊。我慕着
Kunstmuseum的名而來。果然不負所望，在這裡我度過了極悠然的一個下午。除了有一班中學生由老師帶領來參觀之外，其他遊人，除我以外，不出十人。所以很多時候，我可以在一個人獨自在展館内，自己的呼吸聲，每行一步的回音，都清楚得有點難以面對。

在這麽寧靜的環境下，看着眼前各幅珍品，與各藝術大師作跨時空交流。喜歡逛美術館。每間美術館，每件作品，都會隨著不同的時空和心情，帶給我大大小小不同的震撼（impact）。對着十六七世紀的寫實畫，尤其是人像或有故事性的畫，我的心會不期然的寒起來，毛管也會竪起，覺得這些畫中人像要跑出來跟我説話，又或是那些故事將會在我眼前重演一次。看見梵高的畫，我的心會隱隱的抽搐，像感受到他下筆時那股氣勢，厚厚的油彩蓋滿帆布的那種狠勁。有時我會莫名其妙的傷感起來。一些畫我以前覺得不甚了了，現在再看，卻明白只是當時年紀少。相反，一些我以前很喜歡的畫家，現在已不能再感動我了。當然，最愛的，永遠都不會變（可惜今天看不到他的作品）。

喜歡去美術館，因爲每次都有不同的驚喜。

--------------

同場加映Kunsthalle。完全是無心之失 -- 一心想去Kunstmuseum。但大笨如我，一看到街上的指示說“Kuns-”，都未看完整隻字，便馬上跑去找。一進舘，已覺不妥。Kunsthalle地方很細，全年展覽不同的當代藝術者的作品（有點像Fringe Club）。不幸地，今期的展覽我個人覺得非常普通，可能人老了，對這些太現代的藝術表現方法開始失去興趣吧（我曾經非常喜歡這些所謂當代藝術）。前後不到10分鐘我已看完（包括隔壁的超小型建築博物館）。難爲我之前花了２０分鐘找這地方，還要奉獻整整10法郎入場費！！有點羊牯feel（無法子，是自己自動獻身撲入虎口）。

--------------

孭着背囊走了好幾天路，弄得我腰痠背痛。現在最惦念的，竟然不是我的貓咪，而是我的按摩師傅Ada。

瑞士 - take 2 - 一個人在途上

昨天去了南部Bellinzona跟Locarno。因爲靠近意大利，所以這兩處地方都充滿意色風情，從天氣（嘩，熱到吖）到建築到街名到氣氛。我差點以爲我越過了邊界。（真的想過不如再去遠一點，到米蘭shopping，但好像有點那個。）

非常喜歡Bellinzona。那裏有很多城堡。到了最古舊最impressive的Castelgrande。走到城堡上，有廣場，有大片草地，有孩子在追逐遊玩，有人在放狗。如果不是要趕火車，我真的想就在草地上睡個覺，或看看書。放假不就應該是這樣子嗎?

昨天總共坐了7小時來回火車。挺喜歡一個人在途上的感覺，尤其是在語言不通（但又安全發達又有清晰完善交通運輸）的國家。坐在車廂裏，由於聼不明白其他乘客在說什麽，就自然不會分心（我是很八卦的人），能集中精神看風景，看書，或發白日夢。

一個人旅遊的唯一缺點，就是不能在餐廳吃頓好的。我很怕一個人坐在餐廳吃飯，總是覺得很可憐很孤獨般。在快餐店看到人們一個人吃飯，對面坐着不認識的人，我很替他們難過。我知道可能他們大抵覺得完全沒問題（我跟很多朋友談過，其實大部分都覺得沒問題）（我知，我多愁善感吖嘛），但要我做，真的不行。所以一個人旅遊，我通常只吃外賣，三文治yoghurt果汁熱狗等等。看見其他遊客大魚大肉，幾慘（我，不是其他遊客）。

昨天走了很多路坐了很多車，很累。今天簡簡單單，到Basel去。

瑞士 - take 1.1

結果Zurich跟Winterthur都去了。兩個都是大城市，沒什麽驚喜，純粹到此一遊。 （本來這兩處地方可以好好玩-我的原定計劃是逛美術館呀博物館呀等等，但我忘了它們都在星期一休館，所以只好從文化日變成shopping日。）（我知，我好笨吖嘛。）

行了一整天，腳都軟埋。買的東西全都是家庭用品 -- 砧板呀（係，係砧板。邊個話在瑞士不能買砧板？），table runner呀，咖啡杯呀，wine pourer呀，等等。如果不是嫌太重，我差點想買埋那個raclette maker添（不要問我無啦啦怎會在家整raclette...買了就自然會用的啦）！

明天向南部Locarno出發。

瑞士 - take 1

在Lucerne兩天，已經感到這裡的calming effects。街上少一點車，行人走路慢一點，再加上一個可能比維港還大的Lake Lucerne（還不怕填海！），這一切在告訴我，未來7天我的心會很平和。

過去兩天跟伯伯的一位同事G見面。她被公司委派到Zurich工作兩年，兩星期前才到，所以她比我們熟悉瑞士多一點點，但又可以用遊客心態和我們一起遊山玩水。

昨天G跟我們去了St. Gallen。那裏比Lucerne還要小鎮。看了教堂，看了石頭，看了古代圖書館。吃了Wiener schnitzel，吃了rösti，吃了無限的朱古力（這裡真的是a chocolate country！每十步就有一間chocolate shop！）。

坐火車從St. Gallen回到Lucerne途中，沿途看見很多歷史悠久但保養得宜的建築（有的是教堂，cityhall等的公共建築，更多的只是平民住宅)。看見雪山山脈。看見大大小小的湖泊。看見大片青草地。看見牛羊馬貓狗在吃草奔跑睡覺瘙癢。然後發現，這麽多人喜歡瑞士或者歐洲等地方，可能就是被那種‘不變’所感動。雪山，湖泊，大草原，老樹，建築。你隱隱感受到永恒的意義，然後你的心也好像落實了一點點。好像有些你一直渴望但掌握不住的東西終究都穩住在你掌心中，然後事情都變得理所當然了。香港人，感受可能特別深。

現在早上9.30am。伯伯已經去了training，我則準備坐火車去Zurich或Winterthur。 一切都很flexible，往哪裏純粹看自己的心情（和當天天氣)怎樣。 這樣的旅行很寫意。

（噢我們到達第一天還在下雨，昨天已開始放晴！今天雖然天有點灰，但沒有雨啊！好嘢！要快點出發。）

未出發 先興奮

還有10小時，我便會坐在飛機上，向着一個我從未到過的地方--瑞士--出發。（咁大個女都沒見過咁多瑞士人，好緊張！）（我係咁低能傢啦咩唧。）

我跟伯伯會在瑞士中部的Lucerne逗留9天。伯伯在那裏training（還要做presentation！），我則負責吃喝玩樂環節。（據説瑞士葡萄酒是那兒的best kept secret!)

唯一暗湧，就是天氣。CNN報告說未來幾天都是介乎下雨和下狂風大雨之間，幾驚！

電腦會跟身，有時間的話，會在他方直擊報道。

---------------------

I have decided that my 9 days in Lucerne (and neighbouring cities) will involve primarily food and...er, just food. Of course I will participate in the usual touristy activities, mountain hiking, museum visits, etc., but food would be the theme of this trip. I have done extensive research on the different chocolate shops, local Swiss restaurants, patisseries and wine shops. I already have this image in my head that I am sitting in a local cafe by the window, sipping my coffee, reading my book, and watching people pass by on the street outside the cafe. (Of course my mental image does not take into account of the fact that it will likely rain the whole time during our stay, but let's deal with that later). How cool is that!

I will bring my computer with me (sad I know, but I am a hard working responsible employee who is worth every dollar the company pays me) so I may write a piece or two while I am away (may even include pictures!).

。

驚喜是，好久沒見的朋友致電，跟我say hello。 上一次跟他見面已是5個月前了。

以往，大多是我主動跟我的朋友聯繋。或給他們發個電郵，或給他們撥個電話，總之我會make an effort to keep in touch。

結了婚後，有了新的家庭，新的責任，時間好像少了，生活好像忙碌了（雖然更似無事忙）。花在朋友上的時間和心思也好像相對少了。

非我所願矣。

給我一點時間，讓我習慣了這新生活後，我會把妻子/朋友這兩個角色平衡得更好的。

選擇題。

如果你公司要請人，但你知道這空缺是個很“辣”的位 -- 人工非常可觀，但工作時間長，壓力也當然不少，短期内更要一個頂幾個，直到聘請到足夠的人...那你還會不會告訴你的朋友關於這空缺？

我會。我未必會大力推介，但我會將我對這份空缺所知的一切（好的壞的）統統告訴我朋友，然後由他們自己決定，應否申請這份工。我不是他們，不可以因爲我覺得這份工可能很爛，便剝削他們知道的權利。我覺得的差，別人可能會喜歡呢。可能他們已經很不滿意現在的工作崗位，很想跳槽呢。總之我覺得應該給他們一個機會，去自己決定怎樣做。Informed decisions, it's all about。

伯伯的意見呢，跟我剛好相反。他說他不會對他朋友說，因他明知這份工可能不好做，不想連累別人。“我要保護他們唷”伯伯說。

沒有誰對誰錯，只是我們每個人看待每件事的方法也不同。昨天晚上，我對伯伯的了解又增加了一點點。

夫妻相處之道喲。

祂在對我説話

自從當我發現，一個我認定是朋友的人，原來這麽多年來一直在我背後說我的壞話，我便一直耿耿於懷。一來怪自己笨（唉），怎麽會這些年來，給人良心當狗肺，自己還傻吓傻吓；二來覺得很委屈，因她說我的壞話，都是誇張失實的（也就是壞話的定義吧）。

終於，昨天晚上，我心血來潮，決定今天在這裡發洩一下，好讓大家見識一下大口八婆的犀利。(我呀，好記仇的，你們不要得罪我呀，記住你一世呀。）

然後，今天早上，坐車途中，聼着download在IPod的sermon，聽到這番話--

"If we can take the onslaught of attack, and still have a committment to minister to people, it shows that we are freed from those opinions. People will talk trash about you. People will misunderstand your motives. People will not respect you as they should. People will always disappoint you, christians and non-christians alike. And then you have to make a choice. What do you do with that disappointment?...We see David who was so rooted in his faith, that regardless of the onslaught he felt...he had a committment to God, that oversaw all of that. He had a committment to God that still called him to be ministry-minded, to minister to those that on a horizontal plane did not deserve his ministry, to encourage those who did not encourage him, to love those who were unloveable. That is only possible with a heart that is focused on God... It's 'loving inspite of' that brings such glory to God."

因此，我原本想寫的，寫不了。你原本要看的，看不見。

In anticipation

"If we are inclined to forget how much there is in the world besides that which we anticipate, then works of art are perhaps a little to blame, for in them we find the same process of simplification or selection at work as in the imagination. Artistic accounts involve severe abbreviations of what reality will force upon us. A travel book may tell us, for example, that a narrator journeyed through the afternoon to reach the hill town of X and, after a night in its medieval monastery, awoke to a misty dawn. But we never simply journey through an afternoon. We sit in a train. Lunch digests awkwardly within us. The seat cloth is grey. We look out of the window at a field. We look back inside. A drum of anxieties revolves in consciousness...It starts to rain. A drop wends a muddy path down the dust-coated window. We wonder where the ticket might be...It continues to rain. At last the train starts to move...A fly lands on the window. And still we might only have reached the end of the first minute of a comprehensive account of the events lurking within the deceptive sentence 'he journeyed through the afternoon'."

--- The Art of Travel by Alain de Botton

For the past 90 minutes, I was googling about Lucerne, a place in Central Switzerland where I will be flying to in 72 hours and staying for 9 days. I read about all the tourists spots and all the where-to's and what-to's and must-do's. As "Exploring Lucerne - tourists' tips #149" appeared on my computer screen, the above words by Mr de Botton hit me.

I'm lovin' it!

Remember I wrote about how much I wanted the Anya Hindmarch bag?

Well, it is sitting in my living room right now.

I think BB was quite bemused about my over-excitement over this bag ("it must be a girl thing", he said). But little did he know. I had been looking for a chic non-leather bag for some time now (I want to be more animal-friendly, earth-friendly), but for the longest time I couldn't find anything I liked (even when I was ready to pay for an expensive one). That's until I lay eyes on the AH bag in Vogue magazine (the fact that it costs GBP5 is a seriously favourable factor too).

One little tiny problem: the bag was of limited edition, and on sale in the UK only (the Japanese and US version will be launched this summer). Here's when BB's mother came into play. Living in London, BBM was so kind as to go to Sainsbury at 5.45am, and queue for 2 hours until the shop opened at 8am, to buy the bag for me. I felt so very touched, and so very guilty at the same time, when she told me that mission was accomplished. *sniff* I genuinely didn't expect that it would involve so much effort and hassle in getting the bag, otherwise I wouldn't have asked BBM in the first place. What can I say? I have the sweetest mother-in-law who loves me so much.

So this is more than just a bag. This is a bag of statement, and a bag of love.

I am pro-guns.

I care about world issues and I meditate.

By the way, doesn't the rear part of his body look like that of a roast chicken?

Munch and more munch

A month ago, over dinner, I told R, my friend's girlfriend, that I thought Penna Cotta was very difficult to make (even though I had never tried it). "But it is very easy!" R said. At that very moment, from my very own mouth (stupid me!), I managed to declare myself a kitchen retard.

To redeem myself, yesterday I attempted to make this dessert for the first time, following none but R's very own recipe, with a little twist of my own (I used blueberries in balsamic vinegar instead of raspberries in icing sugar, also made it an adult version by adding Vodka).

And Voilà! To quote R's words, it really is "one of the easiest desserts to make, and also very impressive"! I am very pleased with myself. So pleased that I headed to Page One this afternoon and bought myself another cookbook, together with his autobiography. Whoever dare to be my guinea pigs, sign up here!


Last night we met up with AJ and his fiancée, C. C just came back from Japan and she was kind enough to bring us an edible souvenir!

It is a multi-layered cake (like an onion), with an apple right in the middle of the cake! Isn't it super cute!





Today we had lunch with BB's uni mate at Phoenix. Back in our dating days, BB and I used to go to this gastropub almost every weekend (at their old address near Bonham Road), to chill out and play board games. How romantic! But since they moved to this present address (Shelly Street, right next to the escalator), we've visited the place a lot less frequently. The food is excellent as always (love their big breakfast and eggs Benedict). We think (without verification though) their price has come down a notch too (today's bill came to about $150 per person). If you want to have a relaxing lunch in a cozy environment, this is the place.

Verse of the Day

"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." --- 1 Samuel 16:7

Time

My friend Anor highly recommended the sermon on "Time" preached by a very good pastor last Sunday at a church which I have been attending for the past few months. I missed last Sunday's service as I attended the service at my home church in Tsim Sha Tsui instead.

So I downloaded the sermon on-line and listened to it this morning on my way to work. It really is a very powerful message, and very well delivered.

This was the first sermon of a new series on the topic of "growing spritually". Am already looking forward to the rest of the sermons!

痛完，笑番。

貓咪們在獸醫診所經過了一天的折磨，現在一切又如常。沒有貓愛滋，拔的牙齒也沒想像中多（1隻，豬仔包）。昨天下午接牠們回來時，牠們還是迷迷糊糊，腳軟軟的，明顯麻醉藥未過。到了晚上，精神好了，變身成餓狼兩隻。最緊要健康。

有所啓發。其實照顧動物，跟返工，跟與（情）人的關係，也一樣。你以爲你已經盡力做得很好，但只要忽略了一點點，也會出事。“我已經盡了力啦，你看我由A-Y不都做得很好？”不是理由。你漏做了Z，就是漏了，出事也往往是因爲Z。

再引伸下去，你以爲你為對方做了很多，犧牲你的所有，對方一定會（要）很感激。但可能你的所謂犧牲，根本就不是對方所看重的。而他所着緊的，你卻掌握不到。結果大家也不開心。就像你喜歡吃江瑤柱蒸水蛋，認爲對方一定也喜歡（江瑤柱蒸水蛋喎，誰會不喜歡？）。但事實是，全世界如果只有一個人不喜歡江瑤柱蒸水蛋，那人往往便是你身邊的那個。

現實/老闆/情人是殘酷的。我們可以罵“咁鬼麻煩，要求多多。”但實情亦是，我們很多時只從我們的主觀出發，認定什麽是“對公司/情人/朋友好”，“盡力做個好員工/情人/朋友”。做了自己認爲OK的，便以爲是duty discharged。但其實對方要什麽我們又知不知道呢。

可幸是，很多事情有take two。我們可以從錯誤中吸取教訓，努力學習做到100分，A-Z樣樣做齊，對方心意統統明瞭。當然，大大前題是他/她/牠/它一定要是worth your effort的，否則呢D咁嘅麻煩友，晨早已一腳伸咗佢去大西洋啦，重要我為你花咁多心思，慳D啦唔該，發夢冇咁早呀。

痛。

早一陣子在家中離奇發現一粒貓牙，在不知誰是物主的情況之下，便打算把大貓阿寳跟小貓豬仔包都帶到獸醫診所去。說“打算”，因爲到最後只有阿寳被我們制服，趕到貓籠裏；豬仔包一個箭步已經躲到梳化底，死也不肯出來。惟有只帶阿寳。

昨天，獸醫一看阿寳的口，便說“嘩，佢棚牙好核突喎！D牙爛晒，重有牙根炎添！”當他知道阿寳只有3歲時，更說：“好少咁後生嘅貓會有咁大問題嗰喎”。

結論是：（1）阿寳要洗牙，還要做手術治療牙根炎；（2）那粒貓牙，不幸地，不屬於牠。即是說，豬仔包棚牙都應該危危乎。（3）因爲（2）的緣故，星期三我要帶牠們兩口子一起去洗牙和做手術；（4）醫生還說要跟他們牠們驗貓愛滋（牙根炎是貓愛滋的其中一個病癥）。

步出獸醫診所時，我腦袋空白，不知所措。只覺得我的心好像一下子重了20磅。伯伯看見我的樣子，問我是不是很擔心，我說不是。但我整天都心情低落，不想説話。

我不是擔心啊，因為也擔心不來。反正牠們有沒有愛滋，或者是否所有牙都脫掉，我也會照顧牠們一生一世的啦。我不開心，是我是在責備自己啊。我以爲我一直都把牠們照顧得很好。買天然的貓糧（也試過自己弄晚餐給牠們！），每天跟牠們玩，常常給牠們抱抱（讓牠們知道我很愛牠們），定時幫牠們沖涼剪毛，也每天幫牠們梳毛和清理眼睛口邊耳朵的髒物。我也有試過幫牠們刷牙，但每次都流血收場（我），所以只好作罷。

我常跟牠們說“你哋喺我哋屋企住，不知幾好彩呀！”唉，可能牠們一直心想“喂盲丙，帶我哋去整好棚牙先講啦唔該。”兩個貓B，兩個都有事，命中率100%！我做貓媽做到這樣，都算失敗。

昨天餵牠們吃晚餐時，想到牠們的牙可能已經痛了很久，吃東西一定很辛苦了，但居然沒人（我）發覺，真陰功。想着想着，我的眼睛也紅了。

做真媽媽的（即是她的BB是會講a man and a pen會駁嘴那些），心痛的感覺大抵就是這樣吧。

Spoon

Thanks to Mr S, you don't have to wait for 2 months for BB's master piece!

By the way, the "chocolat/framboise" was really yuuuuummmmmy!

Wedding and all things related.

Hi, it's BB again.

We've just come back from a wedding banquet. One of my ex-colleagues. It must be the first time (apart from my own wedding!) that I've sat so close to the head table. Normally, as any HK wedding banquet goer will know, colleagues and "other friends" are relegated to sitting on table 37 right at the back corner of the venue, probably by some loudspeakers in the corner. Tonight we were lucky. And the table seating plan was good. All were ex-colleagues (or spouses) and it was great to catch up with good friends. (Whilst we love to moan about our old law firm, there's no doubt that our time in private practice has forged some good friendships which continue long after we left). We must be getting old though. The suggestion of going for drinks after the banquet had a lukewarm response and I think a number of us were secretly relieved to grab a taxi back home rather than try our luck queuing at some nightspot in Soho/Lan Kwai. The groom was one of the last remaining bachelors in our circle of ex-colleagues and, now that he has settled down with his true love, it means no more stag nights for a long time :-(

----------------------

This week has flown by. It is with a sigh of relief that we managed to sell our old flat. The intention had been that we would be able to sell our old place and move into the marital home at the same time. Wishful thinking! 9 painful months later of carrying two mortgages and we can now breathe easier. [Note from DBJ: that means BB no longer has any excuse not take me to all those new posh restaurants!]

[Note #2 from DBJ: BB has not forgotten to write about our dinner at Spoon. But being a perfectionist, he has to draft the post, revise it, revise it some more, proof-read, and proof-read some more before he can post it on-line. He has started drafting, so please expect to see it in a couple of months' time. Stay tuned.]

。

前幾天，我跟秘書上了深圳開會。每月一次的部門會議。

背景：我公司是一家“國際性，具有豐富跨國業務”（！）的中資機構。中資嘛，總部當然是在祖國啦。我們法務部有差不多10人，在中國公司來說，已算不錯。我們的新老闆（General Counsel）在外國讀書工作多年，所以作風很洋化，亦民主，（還是基督徒！），跟他工作挺愉快。 除了我跟秘書，其他人全都在深圳上班。

每次開departmental meeting， 老闆都會邀請一位“神秘嘉賓”出席，跟我們分享他們的工作心得。這些嘉賓大多是business divisions的人。所以當我們知道這次也有嘉賓出席，也不以爲然。

直到那嘉賓出現在會議室門口。

“咦，呢個肥佬咁熟口面嘅？”我心想。期時我身邊的人已經馬上站起來，恭恭敬敬的。有點不對路。（我呢，其實呢，真係幾笨）很久很久之後，便發現他就是我們整個集團的主席。就像Bill Gates 跟 Richard Branson 跟 Alan Greenspan 一樣，大人物囉。（也不能怪我認不出他，他真人比上鏡靚仔10倍呀起碼。）

主席坐下來後，先說了幾句客套話，什麽感謝我們對公司的付出啊（那麽就應該加人工啦），公司很重視我們的法律意見啊（講呀！business人常常不聼我們的，然後搞出大鑊粥，又要我們補鑊），諸如此類。然後他就叫我們逐一介紹自己。

首先是同事Ｓ。（除了我以外，Ｓ是唯一一個香港律師，但不知爲何，他選擇在深圳常駐。一定係包了二奶。）他詳細的介紹自己是“香港跟英國”律師（在我們的年代，只要你是Hong Kong qualified，便可以差不多自動拿到英國牌，但我們大多沒有advise UK law 的經驗，所以實際上不會說自己是英國律師），有多年的工作經驗啦，曾經advise 過什麽project啦，dala dala dala。

然後便是其他人作自我介紹。因爲其他同事是内地人，所以主席會多問幾句，譬如你家鄉在哪裏呀？在那間大學畢業呀？以前在什麽機構工作呀？遇到同鄉時，會多聊幾句。

當所有人都自我介紹完畢後，Ｓ突然當眾說“［我的名字］呀，不如我們告訴主席，我們在那家大學畢業囉，好嗎？”我完全不明所以（因爲介紹環節已完結，現在再説回來，十分awkward，再者，你要說便說吧，為什麽要拉我下水呢？），只好說“隨便你啦”。然後他便告訴主席，他曾在北京大學修讀法律，是“當年第一個在北京大學畢業的香港人。”

原來咁勁，怪不得一定要主席知道啦。（事後秘書告訴我，Ｓ其實在北大只讀了一個短期課程，跟他說的“在北大畢業”相距甚遠。令我想起另一個人。）

開完會，主席和我們一起去午飯。Ｓ原本一早説明要開另一個會不能跟我們吃飯，但他主動取消了會議，只為了能和主席同枱夾那件中式牛柳。唉。

其實不但是Ｓ，還有個別一兩位同事，也是很明顯地出盡力在討好主席，擦鞋師傅上了身。唉x2。

可能我真的是不太懂人情世故，可能這些討好話其實人人都在說沒什麽大不了，可能中國人公司就是這樣子，可能我這麽多年沒擦鞋也死不去只是我好彩，可能主席真的喜歡聼這些說話，可能我這種懞盛盛嘴藐藐見到老闆都唔識企定的人遲早聼炒。

但要我做到咁，真係唔得囉。

傻仔兩件

認識我們的朋友，都覺得我跟伯伯是那種大方得體（吓？？！），溫文爾雅（吓？？？！！）的人。但其實我們有些黑暗面是不爲人知的。

-------------------

譬如1：

某天我跟伯伯在銅鑼灣百無聊賴，盪吓盪吓的時候...

伯伯：嘩，大笨，你耳仔裏面有粒瘡呀，重有膿添呀！好核突呀！
大笨：唔係吓化？[伸手指入耳朵摸索後] 唓，邊度有唧？
伯伯: 有呀！不如我幫你唧咗佢吖！
大笨：哇，咁痛，唔制！我都見唔到有瘡！
伯伯：不如我用相機幫你影低佢吖？

結果，我們回家後，第一件事便衝入廁所照鏡，然後伯伯便用相機拍下我耳朵裏的瘡。（真的有喲！重有膿！）

-----------

譬如2：

我們閒時會為對方拔白頭髮 （一邊拔一邊說些無聊話例如“嘩我有咁多白頭髮嘅！你睇你平時對我幾差吖！”諸如此類）。拔完以後，會把頭髮放在一個陶氏密實袋裏面。 不要問我爲何這麽做，伯伯說要把它們儲起來喎！

-----------

所以呢，我們其實呢，都幾白痴。

I hate therefore I kill

I wanted to write about my date with this yummy man, but that has to wait till later, when BB is less busy at work and can guest blog about it.

I am still in shock about yet another college shooting in the States. I was just watching on YouTube yesterday about TR Knight's interview on The Ellen DeGeneres Show - he was talking about the incident last October where Isaiah Washington called him a faggot. Ellen, a homosexual herself, expressed her concern about this and said "people should not say hateful words to one another". She mentioned it again at the Oscars, saying that people should stop hating one another simply because of their race, religion or sexual orientation.

The shooting is a case in point. It may not have anything to do with the above things, but it is about hatred. And it shows what a powerful and destructive weapon hatred can be. I cannot imagine what could make this young Korean so angry and frustrated that he has to kill all his school mates. But whatever he went through in life, he must have been in pain. I feel sorry for him, as I feel very sorry for the victims.

My heart dropped a beat when I heard that the police first suspected the shooter was a Chinese man. But it's not any better that he's a Korean. It's tough being the minority in a foreign country, and when things like this happen, it just makes things worse. I hope the Americans will be sensible enough not retaliate against the Korean community.

Lies and deception may be a good thing after all

An interesting article, entitled "Truth or date?", appeared in the Post Magazine today. The text was taken from New Scientist. It talks about how misinterpretation, self-deception and biases can actually help us find happiness in love. I am still struggling to agree with what is said in the article (because it basically throws pure true love and romance out of the window), but some of the findings mentioned in this article do bear a degree of truth.

On soul mate --

"The idea that your sweetheart is your soul mate or one true love is unlikely on statistical grounds: we will meet only a few hundred or thousand of the billions of potential partners on Earth. So why do we kid ourselves?...If we were rational beings and looking for the best possible mate, we'd never stop - there are far too many people for us to assess...So we have to have some sort of mechanism that puts an end to the search, at least temporarily...Falling head-over-heels in love is one solution to the problem of mate choice."

"From childhood our experience of the world provides a template for the kind of person we think we are suited to...a "love map"...Then when you're looking around and find someone who fits within your love map, you are primed to fall in love...As a result, although we can list what we don't like about our sweetheart, we sweep these facts aside and focus on what we adore."

On how people view their partner --

"95 per cent of people...believed their partner was above average in appearance, intelligence, warmth and sense of humour."

On comparison between current and ex- partner --

"...people tend to paint their current partner as a "winner" - open-minded, outgoing and confident - and their former partner as losers - closed-minded, emotionally unstable and disagreeable...It can't be the case that the 300 people we studied all happened to now be with ideal mating prospects, while all their 300 prior partners were duds."

"...we have the evidence for what Chaucer said: 'Love is blind'."

According to the article, true love and romance is all about reproduction and evolution, and that we would unconsciously, and under the influence of hormones, fool ourselves into a relationship (which may or may not turn out to be a happy one). Kind of depressing, hmm.

Open market / Sunday afternoon / It's really all about food...or not

Today after the morning church service, BB and I together with our church friends, hoping to get away from the busy crowded streets of the city, went to the Cyberport Open Market.

It was a slight disappointment, as there weren't as many stalls as we expected, and a large number of the stalls sells non-food items (I was hoping it would be an organic food market like the ones we went to in New Zealand or Australia). I did still manage to find some treasure, and after dropping $300, I came home with this:

Not exactly a bargain, but it's hand-made, with beautiful trimmings, and a fair trade merchandise too! It feels good when you are helping to make this world a better place.

Despite the underwhelming number of stalls, I still think the market is worth visiting. Sitting under the sun, sipping bear and watching the toddlers and children laughing and running barefeet on the grass, it was a very relaxing day out.

mos burger and agnès b. le pain grillé - worth the wait?

After months of complaining, I, Dai Bun's husband, have been given permission to write today's blog.

We had marked today in our diary more than a month ago. DB had been calling and calling a certain French bistro (opened last year) and, after literally 15 phone calls, she had finally secured a table. While the day was filled with other things (more of which later), this was the highlight of the week. We pass by the restaurant every day, to and from work, and often gazed longingly through the windows wondering whether the restaurant really can deliver the perfect onion soup and duck confit...

Our first task of the day was to clear out my old flat in Island East in preparation for its sale. So we grabbed a taxi back to our old neighbourhood and, since it was lunch time, went to the newly opened Mos Burger just outside Jusco. There were 20 people queuing outside... so first we went to our old hang-out (Jusco) and ordered siu mai and curry fish balls. $10 each. Ever dependable, full and flavour and bringing back many happy memories of my time there.

We then decided to queue for a Mos Burger and, after 15 minutes, ordered our burger and chicken set. DB said that when it first opened, people were queuing for 2 hours! Mad, but this is HK where people queue for anything and everything. The chicken burger was pretty decent but the fried chicken was much better (excellent piece of meat, dusted in seasoned flour and deep fried). It's what I'd call the Japanese equivalent of Triple O and KFC. But, being a Japanese sensation, it has more "delicate" (i.e. smaller) portions. It was pretty tasty, but it's hard to beat the filling sensation that a Triple O burger or finger licking good KFC meal delivers.

Back to Agnes B. Soon. I dragged DB to a body combat class (my 2nd time) to pre-emptively burn off some calories. All credit to the instructor for giving us a great work out. At the end of the class (I had admitted at the start I was a novice), she gave me a few words of encouragement. Then again, it could have been sympathy when she saw how shattered I looked. DB and I spent the next three hours back at home recovering, too tired to even talk to each other.

So, the main event. For such an auspicious occasion, we had invited Mr & Mrs S. Where there's good food or a new restaurant, rest assured that they will be there! The menu (classic French bistro) looked great. Everything you could want. So we ordered everything. Soups (bisque, onion soup), salads (grilled bacon, grilled lobster), mussels (the smaller, sweeter ones rather than the over-sized green lips normally found in Asia), grilled lobster, duck confit (my choice - meat was succulent, falling off the bone), sole and more lobster, soufflés (very generous portions - by the end we were all stuffed) and a delicious looking apple tart tatin (ordered by Mrs S). Even though my chocolate soufflé was pretty good, the proverbial grass is always greener on the other side, and with hindsight I would have preferred Mrs S' tart tatin which Mrs S admitted was excellent. So excellent, in fact, that I noticed Mr S only managed to get a bite right at the end.
































I ought to wrap up and gather my thoughts as to what really has been a day of gluttony and, thank God, a carefree day where I have been able to rest and chill out with my wife and dear friends. What I will remember is just how damn difficult it was to book a place at Agnes B. What I have learned is that (and this is where I try to be Anthony Bourdain) food isn't necessarily about trying the most recent fad (be it Japanese or French). It's about what satisfies the soul. And for me, it was the humble siu mai/fish ball food stall which brought back so many happy memories of my time in Island East with, coming around full circle, Mr & Mrs S and DB.

One final note: thanks for DB for letting me write today.

BB

傳真記。

晚上10.30。一對夫婦在港島區某住宅書房裏，正處理關於樓宇買賣交割文件。此時發現需要傳真一些水電煤單給律師處理。

丈夫：[準備打一封cover fax] 等我create個我地既personal fax letterhead先。
太太：咩letterhead呀？駛乜咁煩唧？就咁fax d document咪得囉，cover fax 都唔駛寫啦，重搞乜鬼letterhead唧？
丈夫：整咗個letterhead，第時我地send fax就有自己既名同地址響封fax度，勁呀。
太太：[額角冒汗].....嗯，是但啦，你鍾意就整啦。

然後丈夫用了40分鐘去弄一個fax template。只為了傳真時可以“好勁”。唉。

弄好template之後，丈夫又用了30分鐘去寫一個cover fax （cover fax， 即是那些 “Dear xx, please see attached”三行寫完的fax。）

然後，要簽名。太太遞給他一支原子筆，丈夫竟然拒絕，然後從筆筒拿了另外一支水筆。簽fax咋喎！隨便一支筆簽都可以啦！ “But this is my signing pen!”丈夫面紅紅尷尷尬尬地說。[好彩他都知道自己麻煩]

再一次證明，這個男人是個101%完美主義者。[那麽他的老婆必然是又美麗又可愛又聰明伶俐又出得廳堂的十全十美好賢妻唧，呵呵呵呵！]

The holiday

One knows one is well rested over the holidays when one begins to look forward to going back to work. "One" being my husband. He was so restless over the Easter holidays (e.g. on one morning at 11.30 when we had finished our errands, he said "I can't believe it's only 11.30 and we've achieved so much already!" From then on things went downhill, and he began frantically to find something to do) that I have decided he cannot retire until he's 90.

And it wasn't like we were twiddling our fingers over the holidays. We have:

*reorganised the fridge / food cabinet / in-tray
*hosted a sake party at our place
*attended Good Friday service
*had several rounds of foot / body massages
*visited the newest casinos and witnessed the birth of the Asian Las Vegas
*eaten more than our share of the yummy egg tarts and pork chop toasts
*wined and dined here and here

People go to Macau to gamble (we didn't) and eat (we did, the whole time) so there's nothing much to write about, except that (i) we (the taxi we rode in) almost killed a motorcyclist and (ii) I overheard the most surreal direction-seeking conversation between a waiter and a tourist and and (iii) I realised (to my horror!) that I actually have a rather small appetite, compared to my travel pals (it's so unfair - I don't eat much but I still weigh 2000 tonnes).

--------

While we were away, I asked my parents to come over to our place and look after the cats. And when we came back I discovered that my dad has given our utility room a make-over! He's always complained about how messy our utility room was so I guess he helped himself while we were away. And my mom has tidied up my handbag cabinet! My parents rock! I am so spoiled hehe.

花師奶。

看到大少奶極力推介，便看看有什麽特別。嘩，一看便上癮！好久沒看過這麽好笑的卡通片！

如要觀看全部，可以到這裡。

真的好好笑喲。

!。?!。

星期日早上，跟伯伯坐的士返教會。 一上的士，便覺事態不妙。

司機：早晨，請問兩位去邊度？（我告訴他地址之後）係，多謝晒！
我（心想）：[嘩，超好禮貌喎。]
司機：冷氣OK嗎？ 會唔會太凍？
我(冷汗倒流）：....O...OK。 [好驚，係咪上咗賊車？邊有司機咁好禮貌？]

一路上，越想越覺得奇怪。然後看到他的工作證，上面有一行小小的字，寫着“2006年優秀的士司機”。噢，原來如此。

下車時，我對司機說，“好勁呀，我第一次坐優秀的士司機架車呀！希望你07年會再接再勵。”司機說，“我會繼續努力嫁嘞！” [簡直好似勵志電視劇的對白。]

遇到這些好司機，心情也特別愉快。

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返完教會，我和伯伯沒事做，便即興約了幾個朋友吃午飯。飯後，大家（好明顯都係悶蛋）討論下午要幹什麽。20秒後，得出結論。

試問有什麽好得過去睇示範單位？

於是一行五人，浩浩蕩蕩駕車向數碼港出發。

去到貝沙灣新樓盤門口，一下車已有兩個經紀上前mark住我們，跟着我們一起行去示範單位。雖然我們已經擺明鑿住“運吉”兩隻大字在額頭，亦似乎無阻經紀的熱情。

睇樓之後，有以下感受：

1。我知我知，幢樓係Norman Foster設計吖嘛。 我知我知，Norman Foster係著名建築師吖嘛，但係你不斷同我講“Norman Foster既設計，只有一隻字形容，就係‘貴’！”，真係好煩。不是講笑，這句對白經紀前前後後講咗超過8次！再說，貴不代表值，你不斷說他的設計很貴，只會令我更質疑我是不是你的水魚。還有，你說貝沙灣是Norman Foster在亞洲設計的第一幢住宅，難道你忘了淺水灣129號? 資料搜集呀大哥!

2。經紀說“明年奧運，香港樓市肯定勁升。你現在買，明年賣出的時候，我敢保證（！）閒閒地起碼賺一倍（！！）”。先不討論奧運跟香港樓價的正面關係能否成立，你說你保證，是不是你會簽一份guarantee？是否到時不對辦時，我可以向你追討差價賠償？作爲專業經紀，説話真的要小心，怎能隨便誤導客人？

3。那些示範單位，誤導程度，簡直出神入化。 所有間隔全部拆除，内裏除了最基本的梳化餐枱睡床差不多沒有其他東西。最慘是，即使這樣，單位也不見得很大（我們看的是1,800尺單位喎）。

4。睇樓要排隊。貝沙灣喎，閒閒地最平賣緊$12,000一尺喎，每個單位起碼過千萬喎。觀乎當天，好像我們運吉的人不多，大部分人也似袋裏有幾千萬，隨時可以落訂的樣子（事實亦真的有很多人即場落訂）。原來香港真的有那麽多有錢人？我們運吉五人組假假地都是專業人士，收入也過得去，但我們亦沒能力隨便買豪宅。得出結論是：工字真的不出頭，發大達要靠做生意。

5。經紀叫我們把車泊在路邊，他們會有同事幫我們看。但最後還是被炒牌！！！！！好激氣！！！

雖然我也喜歡做少奶奶

究竟工作的自身意義是什麽？

有人說，他熱愛工作。工作帶給他滿足感。

這句説話對我來説是本世紀最大的疑團，因我從來沒有這種感覺（儘管我曾經很努力希望得到這種感覺）。成功談判到一個項目，起稿一份完美的合同，幫公司賺大錢/避免嚴重風險，對我都不疼不癢。老闆的讚美會令我快樂半天，但不足以令我大叫“嘩，好滿足啊！”。

工作自身從來沒有給我滿足感，我的滿足感來自有工作的後果 -- 每月月底那份不太少但又不太多的薪水 -- 以及那份薪水可以為我帶來的有機快樂農場蛋漂亮衣服酒店晚膳出國旅遊罐頭貓糧乾洗找卡數做善事交稅助養兒童買東西給父母請朋友吃飯買匯豐股票對沖基金等等等等。

工作雖然規限了我時間上的自由，但它能帶給我物慾上的自主。而這種物慾自主帶給我安全感 -- 知道自己有賺錢的能力，戶口定時有進帳，一旦發生什麽事情自己也可照顧自己和身邊的人 -- 這種感覺使我睡得安穩。

雖然我也喜歡做少奶奶，由早到晚看電視跟貓玩弄蛋糕上網做運動發白日夢逛街看書聼音樂做家務煮晚飯，但我還是寧願聼聼電話會議，看看合同，跟自己客戶/對家律師吵吵鬧鬧好過。

Object of my desire

Have you ever had this feeling that you REALLY REALLY want something, and you want it so badly that you are willing to kill your family and pimp your dog/cat/turtle/goldfish in order to get it?

Lately I have been thinking and dreaming about this gorgeous thing day and night and I just could not stop myself.

Damn I wasn't in the UK right now, otherwise you would have found me camping outside Sainsbury already.

I am a happy bunny**

This has been a good week.

I worked from home two days this week and it has not been all that busy. Happy days.

BB and I went to this place for dinner on his birthday. I do not need to tell you how excellent the food tasted, how impeccable the service was, how we were impressed by the presentation of the dishes, how beautiful the Victoria Harbour and the night of Central became when overlooked from the window-side table on the 25th floor, and of course how I had a mild heart attach when the bill arrived. BB was very pleased, and so was I. Another happy day.

This morning I got up early, did two loads of laundry, read a gossip magazine, and came up with new 5-year plan which I wasn't sure if I could stick to. But I feel happy enough just to think about it.

When you are happy, the world looks pretty. Even the smog and drizzle doesn't bother you anymore.

Currently playing: Anne-Sophie Mutter, Mozart Piano Trios K.502, 542, 548

**The drugs I have just taken clearly have some side effects on me.

The book of answers

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." --- Joshua 1:9

When I thought of you, this scripture came to mind.

窗外，天開始黑。

兩個人。兩隻貓。一個屋簷。

一個在廳；一個在房。各打各的電腦；各做各的工作；各開各的電話會議。偶爾閒談幾句，然後又回到自己的工作崗位。

平靜的星期一。

Cap nap

The most peaceful moment of my day.

I have been working from home the last few days due to my illness, and it was great news to the cats, who are overly affectionate and love to stick to you up close and personal all the time. With these two little creatures at home, very often I feel a lot like a mother caring for two babies (except that these two babies eat funny smelling dry food and shed their hair a lot).

適當運動和均衡飲食

伯伯下禮拜生日，但我仍然未想到應和他到哪裏慶祝。一直想訂座Agnes b Bistro，但每次打電話去，不是沒人接聼，就是説訂座最快也要下個月才有位（這麽誇張？）。Suggestions anyone?

過去6星期，身體差得不得了，又傷風又感冒，又食物中毒，弄到自己非常anti-social，很多朋友聚會也去不到，幾個朋友的生日也錯過了。現在打blog時也有點點頭暈，唉。已經再次join了California Fitness（對上一次join是3年前，後期覺得太多人所以退了會），希望多做運動身體真的會好起來。

Mille-feuille, anyone?

It's been a tough week at work, for both BB and I.

That's why I am most excited about our gals' night tomorrow. The food and drink and gossips and laughters will do enough repair to my tiredness and stress and headache.

Life is good when you have something to look forward to.

（太累了，想不到題目）

今天與一班法國人，台灣人，及大陸人開會。 （這個組合，是律師最大的惡夢）

當各人嘩啦嘩啦，你一句我一句，疲勞轟炸我的時候，我腦裏在想：

我在這裡究竟在做什麽？

我好想回家跟貓玩啊。

我家裏還有衣服要洗啊。

從香港去深圳，2小時。開會4小時。從深圳回香港，2小時。 回家後在開電話會議，2小時。然後再上網看公司電郵，3小時。

一天就這樣跑掉了大半。

The Monday blues

has never been stronger.

It doesn't help to know that I will have to travel to Shenzhen three times this week for meetings.

Easter Easter, where art thou?

Chinese New Year

My CNY holiday started on Thursday afternoon, when my backpain relapsed while I was sitting in the office and I had to go home early on Thursday. I was quite worried that I had to spend my holidays in bed, but it turned out that as soon as I was out of the office, my backpain miraculously disappeared. (I think my back is allergic to work.) So I was a happy moving bunny during CNY.

But I would be happier if I did not have to spend hours and hours sorting the wedding photos which we finally received from our photographer. After screening 4,000 of them, some of the nicer photos are now on-line and I will drop you an email soon attaching the link.

On the 2nd day of the New Year, our friends came over for a 開年飯 ("hoi nin fan" or "year-opening dinner", to celebrate the beginning of a new year). Apart from the usual CNY festive food which we never seem to get bored with (turnip cakes, taro cakes, and of course my favorite, the sweet rice cakes), we had a great time playing tennis and softball and boxing on the Wii and killing each other on X-box 360.

Now it's back to normal. I am only due back to work next Monday so I can have a few more days to spend with my latest sweetheart, Ray Barone.

Life is good when you're on holiday.

我的朋友P

原來世界上真的有大好人。對我好，對一些他從未見過的我的朋友也同樣的好（“你的朋友也就是我的朋友啦”，他說）。不是細微細眼的好，而是百分之百的勞心勞力。正如我的受助朋友笑言，“他要不是一個頂級大好人，便一定是從中收commission”。 當然，他幫人完全是出自真心。

有這樣的一個老公，很替C開心。

36 minutes 12 seconds

Whoever can invent a juicer that doesn't take forever to clean should get a Nobel Prize (or free donuts for life).

It took me 5 minutes to cut up the fruits and vegetables, 1 minute 12 seconds to juice everything, 3 minutes to finish the health booster, and yet 27 minutes to wash the compartments!!

Oh you cute little ring.

I was watching Oliver's Twist tonight on TV. As usual, Sir Oliver was cooking something not particularly yummy-looking, and his weird British accent is still an acquired taste. But tonight he looks different. He is wearing a suit! But it's more than that...

He's wearing a suit AND a wedding ring!!

A decent looking man* in a suit with a wedding ring is passport to charmsville.

Since I got married, I have been increasingly attracted (NOT "romantically attracted", before you married women try to hide your husbands from me) to married men##. That wedding band on his finger represents commitment, responsibility and maturity. And most women, like me, find these qualities attractive.

Now I am beginning to understand why some women only date married men. But what these women do not realise is that if a married man has an affair, it takes all the good qualities away from him, and he is nothing but a b**t**d.

But a married man (again see definition) who loves his wife is a total gem.

BB, this post is dedicated to you. You are the cutest married guy on earth, and I am so glad I am married to you... OK so now where is my Valentine's present?


*Whether or not Jamie Oliver is a decent looking man is beyond the scope of discussion of this post.

**Definition of "married men": decent looking, caring, friendly, family-loving, well-mannered, funny guys who appreciates the finer things of life with promising careers which require the wearing of nice suits and who wear their wedding ring on their 4th finger on their left hand. This definition basically rules out 99.7% of the Hong Kong, or 80% of the global, married male population.

Things I learned over the past 120 hours

- Acupuncture is the world's best invention ever. Those little needles work wonders! Make sure you go to the good acupuncturist though; the bad ones leave your back bruised and swollen.
- Everything is about the flu. Apparently my back problem was triggered by the flu. Note to self: must wrap up and not drink cold stuff again.
- As much as I like gossip magazines, reading 5 in a day is somewhat too much.
- My mum is the world's best mum. She came over to our place last night to cook me dinner and look after me.
- BB really treats my family like his. Evidence: last night, after his shower, and apparently forgetting that we have guest, BB stepped out of the washroom and marched into the living room in his usual post-shower outfit - a dry tower wrapped around his waist. Upon seeing my mum, he said in a slightly embarrassed tone, "Your mum is my mum lah, I am sure she doesn't mind hehe". My mum must be very touched, for she was laughing non-stop.
- I am a freak. During the time when I could not bend my back, the one single thing that annoyed me most was "there is dust and hair on the floor! Sh*t I can't sweep the floor! How can I walk on dirty floor!!!" I even tried to pick up hair on the floor with my toes (it worked, in case you wondered).

More importantly:
- Never take things for granted. It takes a very healthy person to do simplest things in life, like getting off the bed or wiping one's bottom or scooping cat litter. When you are suffering from scoliosis and cannot move even an inch, you would realise how fortunate and blessed you were all your life simply being healthy.
- Things happen for a reason. When you are suffering from an illness, it puts your life in a whole new perspective. You also become more empathetic to people suffering from similar illnesses. It shouldn't be this way, but sometimes you really have to go through something to understand how it feels, in order to become more patient and tolerant to other people.
- Be thankful and count the blessings: all the good doctors recommended by my friends, love of my family and friends, having an understanding boss, and the fact that I am recovering and can soon become mobile again.

What if I have to stay in the hospital for Chinese New Year?

My back pain is getting worse. This morning I could hardly sit on the toilet seat (the first thing that came to mind: Sh*t if I can't sit on the toilet how can I pee?????) At the end I managed to do the thing but it's p-a-i-n-f-u-l (the sitting down part, not the action itself). And afterwards I spent 3 minutes trying to pull myself up again.

I am now sitting on my chair in the study but I can still feel the pain. When I was sitting down yesterday it was fine. Apparenty the antibiotics I am taking doesn't quite work.

And my damn x-ray results won't be out until end of the week.

I am officially worried now.

Update: It is 3 o' clock now and my mobility has improved a bit (I can go to the toilet now yipee) though it's still far from satisfactory. But at least the extra-strong panadol seems to be working.

Murphy's law

I have injured my back mysteriously. Everything was fine (ok there has been a slight uncomfortable feeling for a month or two but doesn't everyone have back pain?) until yesterday evening when I really started to feel it getting stiff and painful. Then this morning I could hardly get off my bed without screaming my head off. The pain comes from inside the spine; it's nervous pain rather than muscle pain, and therefore much sharper.

I have my spine x-rayed but results will only be available in a few days' time. Meanwhile, I am on Panadol and antibiotics. I cannot make big movements, I cannot bend my back, I cannot squat; I feel like a 70-year-old.

And did I mention I am having the flu too and my nose is runny and I am building a mountain of tissue balls on my desk?

Grrrrr.

星期一郊遊記

在鄉下返工的好處是中午可以去一些平常人只會在放假才去的地方吃飯（譬如深井）。

不過也要有一些在你附近返工，又有駕車，又會好好興致去深井吃午飯，仲會好好人車埋你一齊去食的朋友（譬如朋友G），才能成事。

陳記的燒鵝好好吃喲！

大笨黃昏新聞報告

朋友來電，帶來了一個消息，心裏暗暗擔心。要為這事狠狠祈禱。

-----------------------------------------

昨晚爸媽來探訪，連同伯伯一起做了我的白老鼠，吃了我弄的提拉米蘇。上一次弄這甜品已是五年前，當時家人的反應是 ---“嘩呢pat咩o黎？o甘核突o既”。那時候我知道，Tiramisu is a dessert of love for love --- 只有當我在戀愛中才能夠弄到一個好味的提拉米蘇（那個好味的提拉米蘇七年前在英國出世）。從此以後，只敢吃，不敢弄，這個咖啡蛋糕成爲我的死穴。

多年後的昨日，再次出擊。這次，就連平常不嗜甜品的媽咪也說“幾好味吖”。心裏快樂的不得了，這是我人生中第二個好味的Tiramisu。

戀愛萬歲。謝謝伯伯。

----------------------------------------

昨天晚上看Discovery Travel & Living, Anthony Bourdain 在瑞典遊山玩水，令我想起朋友A。在她還在瑞典住的那幾年，我曾經特地飛去探望她。往後這麽多年，我們只見過一次面，還是我往倫敦時她特別從芬蘭飛來跟我會合。人與人的關係真的很奇妙，有些人你可能一生才見幾次，平時通訊也不多，但其實你很想念他們，而當你們碰面時一切又是那麽自然，細水長流的友誼，就是這樣。朋友A如是，朋友M也如是。

臨睡前給A發了一個SMS，今早收到她的回覆，開心了半天。

-----------------------------------------

早上伯伯給我發了電郵，什麽也沒說，只有一個“:-)”。知道什麽回事的我，又是開心了半天（所以我總共開心了一整天哈哈）。

I woke up at 7am, stood in the rain and smiled at strangers for 5 hours in return for this...

This morning, I, together with hundreds of other volunteers, helped this organisation raise funds by selling flags (for those who have not lived in HK, a flag is a sticker which is given to you when you make a small donation). The last time I sold flags was when I was 15 years old, so this time I was quite nervous. I was not sure if I would be thick-thinned enough to approach people and ask them for money, and how I would react if I was brutally rejected by people.

It turned out that I didn't do too badly. I sold quite a lot of flags and my money bag was so heavy that my arms are hurting now.

I am not going to bore you with the details of my morning (how it was raining most of the time so that people were more reluctant to stop and reach for their wallets; how some people, upon seeing me from a mile, took a complete detour just to avoid me; how some people looked at me like I was the dirtiest filth; how some people lied their way out of making a donation ("oh I don't have any money" when they were carrying various shopping bags); how heart-warming it was when some people said the kindest words of encouragement to me; how touched I was when the least-unexpected people approached me and made a donation). I will just say:

- there are many kind-hearted people, and there are also many nasty people
- however badly those nasty people treat me, and however much I wanted to tell them "you will rot in hell!", I should refrain from doing so because I shall not judge people. This right is reserved for the Almighty (when Jesus was ill-treated by his opponents he did not curse them...well I was just human)
- when I meet the kind-hearted people, I should be thankful and treasure those brief encounters, because they are the ones who make this world a better place
- as much as I love sleeping in on a Saturday morning, I was glad that I was part of the event today. Helping people and feeling great about it is more powerful than any big breakfast I can have.

"I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine you did for me." -- Matthew 25:40

For the sake of BB's happiness...

I am quite relieved that I have made up my mind not to take the new job (though I still have not broken the news to my recruiter). If I take the job, I may not be able work on my cooking skills as much as I would like, and that would greatly reduce my chance of becoming the HK version of Nigella. Not good...

The Ring

I am still avoiding calls from my recruiter. I am just not very good at saying "no".

Maybe I should flip a coin

Got a call from my recruiter yesterday telling me the "good news" - the global sporting company that I interviewed with is ready to give me a job offer. The recruiter told me the major terms and if I say yes, they will go put together a formal written offer letter for me to sign.

I thought I was well-prepared for this day to come. I mean, you go for interviews hoping that one day an offer will land on your desk, and when it does, you should be overjoy right? This is not exactly how I am feeling. I think since the departure of my boss, things have changed a bit in my company and now I am having second thoughts about leaving.

Perhaps I should just do what a lawyer always does - make lists.

Current company

Pros:
- temporary boss is a good guy with good values; and he is a Christian
- really good hours (those who know me would know that I leave office at 6pm sharp most days)
- my acting boss is in ShenZhen so I am the only lawyer in the HK office, hence the freedom
- the work I do is almost no-brainer; perfect for a person with zero ambition

Cons:
- office is in the rural (takes over 2.5 hours in commuting every day)
- requires travelling to SZ (my mum is not too happy about it; she hears all kinds of horrible stories involving kidnapping or cutting up people)
- in absolute terms (i.e. without taking in account the flexible hours I enjoy) salary is not fantastic
- dealing with PRC clients can sometimes be extremely painful
- whenever people ask me what I do and I tell them the name of my company, they will go "Which company?" It doesn't feel good if you work for a company that no one has heard of, when it is supposed to be a household brand in China.

Global Sporting Company

Pros:
- truly household brand (I would seriously wonder where you have been for the past 20 years if you do not know this brand)
- office is 20 minutes from my home
- including a discretionary target bonus (which the company claims were paid out in full to every staff member in the past few years), there will be a 22% salary increase from my current job
- no need to have frequent day trips to China

Cons:
- I heard that my future boss is quite fussy about punctuality (if you come into the office at 9.01am or leave for lunch at 12.59pm, she would greet you with a black face)
- from the due diligence I've done, a few predecessors of mine left the company only after a few months... intriguing.
- I will not have my own office - it's all open plan (I have never worked in an open-plan environment before in my life; I need the quietness in an office to focus)

So there you go. Will have to think hard and pray hard about it. Will keep you posted.

也許當時年紀少

最近常常想起自己以往的所作所爲。一些不太光彩的事。不是什麽彌天大罪，都是一些你和我年少無知時會說會做的，而事後覺得自己無限白痴的事。

說過的差勁笑話（當時以爲自己好funny!）。 爲了接近/拒絕一些人而講過的謊話。爲了與某些人在一起而做的，自己以爲很偉大，卻把他嚇壞的舉動。為了挽留某些人而做出的各種愚蠢行爲。

以爲事過境遷，人與物也幾番新，少年愚昧應該不用太介懷，況且“舊事以過，都變成新的了”。但原來午夜夢廻，想起這些瘀事，還是會面紅耳赤，宜不得一世躲在被窩裏，不用面對自己面對人。

以前做事衝動，沒有思前想後，落得不堪下場，還可以賴“當時年紀少”。現在人大了，成熟了，同樣的錯便不能（亦沒有藉口）再犯。但人的成熟速度總比我們期望為慢，而地球依舊自轉公轉，我們也只可硬着頭皮，繼續走我們要走的路，然後暗自禱告，希望以後不要再癡那些康復中的孖筋，再做那些我們以後不知怎樣跟兒孫交待的低能行爲。

畢竟有些瘀人瘀事，真的一次也嫌太多。

最漂亮的叉燒

昨天晚上，老朋友（大家小學時坐同一校車）兼舊同事兼鄰居致電：“上來看叉燒啦！”我便匆匆從3樓爬上26樓。

老朋友剛誕下超可愛男嬰。他睡着的時候，跟他在媽媽肚子裏照4D超聲波時的樣子一樣。6磅半的身體，輕輕的，好像非常脆弱，但這小個子為一個家庭帶來翻天覆地的改變，也為這個家庭帶來無窮喜樂（即是如果這小男生長大後溫文爾雅，事業有成的話；否則就真的生舊叉燒好過生他了，哈哈）。

朋友一邊笑說着餵奶換片的苦況，我一邊看着小男孩睡着時的表情。小孩子總是非常容易滿足，連睡着時也好像是笑着的。

二人世界變成三人行，生命突然多了很多未知之數；前路終點不再一樣，但任何事情，有三個人一起面對，便“落雨不怕，落雪也不怕”了。

Baby Talk

I had a meeting with a recruiter after work a few days ago, and what was supposed to be a get-to-know-the-candidate-betting meeting turned into a 1.5 hour conversation (or monologue or preaching) about babies as soon as the recruiter found out I got married two months ago.

Recruiter: So are you planning on having babies? Because if you aren't, you'd better do so now!

Me: .....

Recruiter: You know what, don't plan! Just do it! If you ever plan about having babies you will never have them, and before you blink another two years will have flown by and you will then regret why you didn't do it earlier, when your physical and mental health was in better shape.

Me: My hushand and I have a vague consensus that we want to enjoy couplehood for a few years before considering having babies.

Recruiter: No don't do that! How old are you now? [I told her] See you're not young anymore. You really should be making babies right now. Trust me, your whole life will change and you will be so happy when you have your own babies.

Me: [Trying to be polite] Hm... I will definitely discuss it with my husband tonight.

Recruiter: Don't discuss, just do it! Buy some sexy lingerie, stop taking the pills, throw away the condoms, whatever! Just make sure you make babies!

The recruiter got married a few years ago and now she has two children. I can tell she is very happy. She showed me the photos albums of her kids, told me how she enjoyed going to the movies with her daughter, how cute her son was. I was quite surpirsed when she told me she's older than me, because she looked almost 10 years younger than her real age. She is also very pretty and slim too. "It's so unfair", I told her jokingly.

By the time I looked at my watch, it was 7.30pm already (our meeting started at 6pm) and we had barely covered anything remotely job-related. We finished our meeting and the recruiter quickly rushed home to see her kids.

Luke 9:23

'If one day you could see Jesus in person and you say, "Jesus, tell me what you want me to do, and I will do it.", you know what Jesus will say? Two words: "Follow me."'

Yesterday we attended the Sunday service at a church different from the one we regularly go to. The sermon was precise and concise, and presented in a very interesting way (involving a hammer and a mirror and some smashing). Considering I usually have the memory of a goldfish, I can still remember most of the sermon and the message. I remember in particular what the pastor said above. I remember tears welled up in my eyes when he said that.

愛愛愛

我愛貓咪。貓咪愛伯伯。伯伯愛我。貓咪愛我。伯伯愛貓咪。我愛伯伯。

ＴＨＥ　ＥＮＤ。

驚心動魄上磅記

過了整整一個多月的狂歡作樂，今天早上終於要與久違了的電子磅say hello。

兩腳踏上去後，後悔也來不及，小小的液晶体顯示器已經顯示了一個足叫我差點暈倒的數字。這也怪不得，我早就知道那些雪糕啊，薯片啊，芝士餅啊，各種各類的甜品啊，等等等等是世紀大魔鬼，奈何自己意志力長久薄弱，面對這些香甜軟滑或脆卜卜的魔鬼時，想也不想，半點掙扎也沒有，就如螞蟻粘蜜糖般衝倒過去。 我愛零食，就好像女人愛壞男人一様，明知下場坎坷，也要燈蛾撲火。

唉，減肥戰爭又再正式開始...

噢，或者等我星期六打完邊爐才開始吧。

The Birthday Party

After a week of indulgence with wine, cheesecakes, tiramisu, Christmas puddings, left over turkey, crabcakes and vegetables, etc., life is back on its normal track now.

We had a great party at our place on Xmas night, and apparently everybody had a good time. We did Secret Santa (it's a kind of gift exchange in which you were told beforehand whom you are going to buy the present for but the recipient does not know it's coming from you - hence the Secret Santa - and he has to guess who the present's from), and it was the highlight of the night, apart from the yummy food and cocktail prepared by our friends.

As for New Year's Eve, I am not going to tell you what we did, except that it involves a very nice dinner, champagne, wine, good friends, dancing, throwing up, laughing and an expensive bill. We have photo-documented the whole night but I am waiting for someone to bribe me not to post them :)

The Christmas and New Year's bash aside, I am very thankful for all the blessings I was showered with in 2006. Christmas is about hope and faith and love. We celebrate Christmas because it is the birthday of our Savior, a baby sent to us by God to save us, and therefore we are cleansed of our sins and can start our lives anew, if only we have faith in Him. This is the true meaning of Christmas.

And what is a birthday party without food and booze and good friends?

A few good men

I had a meeting with my boss, the Acting General Counsel, today in Shenzhen. He was hired a couple of months ago as an IP counsel for the company, but because of the departure of our GC, he was then appointed Acting GC until a replacement is found.

He is a nice guy. I knew it the very first moment I met him. He's Malaysian Chinese who has spent the better part of his life in the US. He's worked in a leading US law firm and in a major US company so his experience and exposure is more than excellent.

Most of all he is a good guy. I didn't have a chance to get to know him very well back when he started his job (he is based in Shenzhen, me Hong Kong; plus I started my marriage leave shortly after he joined) But today we had a long chat, and he reaffirmed my impression of him. For a GC, one may think he is too idealistic and optimistic, but hearing him say what he said, you can't help thinking that "hmm...this is good. We need leaders like him with passion and vision". He does not give you lectures and lessons, instead he shares with you his experience, with the help of some funny real and fake stories, to get the message across to you.

I was most impressed when he told me that "family always comes first. If you do what you think is right for your family and your company doesn't appreciate that, then maybe this company is not worth your effort. You can always change your job, but you can never change your family". To take up his position in Shenzhen, he had to relocate his whole family (wife + 3 kids) from the US. He certainly has a very supportive family.

When he first joined, my ex-boss (GC who has now left) and some other senior management had doubts whether he may survive this company, since he seems to be too idealistic and westernised to be working in a political and chaotic PRC company. But there is something about him that makes me believe that not only will he make a good boss, he may actually be able to win the favour and trust of our management, and therefore make all our little lawyer lives a whole lot better.

I have friends who, for all his/her life, works for bosses from hell. I have been really fortunate in this aspect, as most of my bosses are good leaders and nice people. Let's hope that it stays that way.

Interview II

This morning I went for an interview with another company. This is a world renowned sports company whose products have won the favour of millions of people, including my newly acquired husband BB.

The interview was very brief, with me meeting only the HR manager for about 15 minutes. The HR manager asked me the standard questions, and then went on to explain their corporate culture and management style.

I was told that the company is highly performance driven, and there have been, and will be, a lot of changes in personnel and company direction. The way she said it (plus her facial expression) suggested that the company is merciless when it comes to year end evaluation - if the company thinks you are not delivering results (revenue), you can pretty much start packing.

After the two interviews I had yesterday and today, I find that it really is a big bad world out there. And what has surprised me is how honest the interviewers have become these days. I remember a few years back, whoever I interviewed with would only tell me all the glorious things about their company. You have to conduct your own due diligence through your friends, or friends of your friends, who work in that company.

Despite the many complaints I may have about my current employer (lack of leadership and vision, undesirable corporate culture, poor management skills, the rudeness of some of my PRC colleagues, etc etc), I do enjoy really flexible working hours (many times my friends call me at 6pm and I am already on my way home) and I have kind of established myself in the company. Do I want to throw all these away and
rush to the unknown, where I may have to work 15 hours a day, or help the company generate millions of profits, so as to justify my existence?

I am not too sure now.

But I am not too worried about it. I have prayed about it and have lifted it all up to God. I am never sure what will be best for me, but God is.

When is too much too much?

I went for an interview today. The company runs what most people consider a very glamours business and is one of the biggest employers in HK. During the interview, the following conversation took place:

General Counsel (my potential future boss, should they/I decide to hire me/join the company): I've got to tell you, this company has the worst politics. You must come here with no expectation because whatever expectation you have as a lawyer you will be very disappointed when you see no one appreciates you. The legal function in this company doesn't command any respect. You have to fight for everything every day. We don't even have our own standing and have to sit under the personnel division. [GC went on to tell me horrible stories about their legal team being treated like crap]

Me: [Still smiling] I see. Sounds like your company is as chaotic as mine.

GC: Yeah. Everyday is a battle. You have to deal with all sorts of people problems. It's trouble when they come to you for advice. It's even more trouble when they don't come to you until shit hits the fan.

GC then continued for another 15 minutes to talk about the pain of being a lawyer for this company, and then went on to talk about business trips:

GC: Business trips is part and parcel of this job. I don't expect you to travel a lot on a frequent basis but when you do, the business trips can be extremely demanding. I have more than once travelled long haul to a country, only to be there for a few hours and then I have to get on the earliest plane to come back to HK. And you are not allowed to have jet-lag. Oh and since your role is a world-wide role, you will have to work the Europe and US time zones as well, and when you have a global conference call, you sometimes have to get up at 5am to take those calls.

Me: [......]

GC: And senior management may wake you up in the middle of the night and ask you questions, and you have to give them answers there and then.

Me: [......]

While I truly appreciate the honesty of the GC in telling me the reality of the working environment despite the huge risk of scaring me away (he said, and I truly agree, that he'd rather tell me everything upfront for me to make an informed decision than for us to have a mismatch of expectation), I cannot help thinking how tough it will be working in such a position, having to deal with the sorts of challenges that were mentioned, and having to work 3 time zones and weekends and take late night and early morning calls. The remuneration package is not spectacular either. And did I mention that should I take the job, I will have to spend 3.5 hours each day commuting to and from work?

The upside of things is that their office complex is like a mini community, equipped with a gym, a theatre, a mini supermarket, a bank, and whatever you can think of in a local community. Oh and you get to see many many glamours people every day. That's not too bad.

無題

凡事都有定期。

萬事互相效力。

I see you, I see you not

如果眼睛是靈魂之窗，而你因爲戴了那些新科技小黑環隱形眼鏡而使瞳孔變得大了亮了，而如果有男生因爲你大了亮了的瞳孔而愛上了你，那你怎辦？難道日日夜夜也要跟這小膠片做朋友？你又有沒有欺騙觀衆之嫌？

眼睛會説話。我可以理解人們（包括我）希望用eye shadow, mascara, eye liner, 等等等等把眼睛弄得漂亮一點，但瞳孔是另一回事，它是一個人真誠的指標。如果隨隨便便的把這個指標加大改小，那和騙子又有什麽分別？ 我看見你但看不見真的你，那我還是不是看見你呢？

好書推介

《小事情》-- 陳慧

“別小看生活中這些小事情，小事情中有大道理。因爲每個人的生命，都是日日夜夜由如此這般的小事情交織而成。”

很久沒有看過一本叫我真正感動的書。如書名一樣，說的都是發生在小人物身上的小事情。陳慧一向擅長觀察和捕足生活的細節和感情描寫，這次沒有例外。

你和我都是小人物，看這書，你會驚訝有人可以這麽精准地了解你的内心世界。在地鐵裏看這書，好幾次弄得我鼻子酸酸。旁人怪怪的看着我，好不尷尬。

趕快看哪！

活着，多好

在風和日麗的下午，吃着自己摘的，紅紅的水果，看着不太嚴肅的書。









屋子被葡萄樹包圍，綠綠的，眼睛很久沒有這麽舒服過了。在草地上奔跑着，跟大黑狗玩角力，跟愛人踢足球，這種喜悅，不能言喻。









小羊Bob。看着他，想起家裏的貓。然後發現，自己惦念的人或物，只要回到家就可以看見，著實是一種福氣。









跟愛人在路上奔馳，他駕車我看地圖，聼着At 17，Madonna，Santana，Robbie Williams，又越過高山又越過谷。












在湖邊餵鴨子。牠們一看到麵包，就從老遠游到岸邊，團團的包圍着你。鴨仔歌伴着浪聲，比世上任何音樂還要好聼。









雨後的彩虹，久久不散。









看到無盡的山脈，看到蔚藍的天，看到上帝的大能。









一覺睡醒，迎接自己的，是美味的早餐。









與愛人看日落。









早上七點半，在農場的母牛，被帶進牛棚裏榨牛奶。不久，隱隱聽到牛棚外有叫聲，走出去看，發現小牛原來從老遠的農場走到棚外等媽媽，待母牛榨完牛奶之後，兩母子就一起緩緩地走回農場。每天如是。“牠們就好像人一樣啊！”農場主人說。











在一個別人要上班的下午，在餐廳隱蔽的後院裏，吃着青口喝着啤酒，感覺着皮膚被慢慢曬黑。（現在的我黑得像菲傭一樣）











你說，活着，多好。

Goodbye Kiwiland

BB and I are now at Kiwiland airport waiting to fly back home. This past two weeks has been a blast. We have done the adventurous things (riding on a 4x4 across a river!) and we have had time to just chill out and relax (and snap loads of pictures).

As much as I enjoy being pampered by good food and sunshine and blue sky every day, I am missing home now. More importatnly I can already think of 1,000 post-wedding/honeymoon chores I need to do when I am back.

So stay put. I promise I will come back with an update (and pictures) soon!

You know you are full of blessings when...

- the weather was superb on your wedding day (sunshine and blue sky!)
- your best men, bridesmaids and groomsmen, being ever so professional, help you take care of all of your worries so you can concentrate on being the bridezilla you want to be/can't help being
- your maids of honour, having known you for so many years and having seen the worst of you, are willing to subject themselves to a day of hard work and dealing with the drama queen, in the hope that they will also get to see the best of you (Amy & Susanna, I love you)
- your close friends and family are the witnesses of this important moment of your life
- you get to marry the love of you life, and spend the rest of your life with him, for better or for worse
- your marriage is blessed by God and He sure was as happy as you are on your big day

A big thank you to all of you who were there at the church wedding ceremony and/or the evening reception. Words cannot begin to express how much it means to both BB and me that you could be there to share our joy. A heartfelt thank you in particular to those who travelled all the way from all corners of the earth to attend our wedding. We love you all.

-------------------

BB and I are now in KiwiLand. The food here is superb and the scenery even better. People say sometimes a place is so beautiful you just have to point the camera and shoot, no matter where you're standing. KiwiLand is just like that. More later. Now I need to make myself a chamomile tea to help digest all the oysters and seafood I had. Don't be surprised when you see me become a balloon in two weeks.

Panic attack

I am starting to have the following nightmares about my wedding day:

(a) my make-up artist failed to turn up on the wedding morning and I had to do my own hair and make-up (disaster);

(b) I snoozed the alarm too many times so that when I woke up it was already 11.30, as opposed to 8.15 when I was supposed to get up (disaster);

(c) while I walking down the aisle, I tripped over my oh-so-pretty wedding dress and had the worst belly flop in front of all the guests and made a complete jerk of myself (major disaster).

Panic attack again. I need fresh air.