I couldn't have come up with a more accurate description.

This Barnes guy must be a great friend of BB. Or he could be BB in disguise!

And apparently, "Gastrosexual" is the word to describe a man who takes pleasure, and excel, in cooking.

"What's the psychology behind a man wanting to be alone in a kitchen? For Julian Barnes, the appeal lay in pedantry: an academic consultation of reference books followed by scholarly research for authentic ingredients. Then, exacting reproduction of recipes with precise timings and flawless reproduction of a premeditated result."

--- p.58, Waitrose Food Illustrated, October 2008

When having the blues, read a book.

"He awoke each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person, to be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy. And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his chest into his stomach. By early afternoon he was overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for him, and by the desire to be alone. By evening he was fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness. I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others - the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad. Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his rib cage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I am not sad."

--- Everything is Illumiated by Jonathan Safran Foer

Pain of being a Hong Konger.

When George W. Bush makes one of the many stupid decisions that he has made, the US citizens are partly responsible, because they (at least those who voted for him) helped put him in office.

We Hong Kong people don't even have the luxury of blaming ourselves for making a bad choice. And so we have to watch our utterly incompetent / borderline imbecilic government officials making unacceptable mistakes time after time and having the nerve to make excuses for themselves. They have collectively taken the word "shameless" to a whole new level.

I have never been more ashamed of our government than I am now. Just look at what they have done in the past 11 months and you will see.

I want universal suffrage now. Whatever dumb-ass I decide to vote for, at least that would be MY decision and I will live with the consequences.

給愛我的您。

From G's article on today's Apply Daily.

那個“她”，也是“他”。

-------

她 愛 你

‧ 她 把 隔 夜 的 尾 盛 載 在 一 個 小 碟 上 ， 大 家 吃 飯 時 ， 她 把 那 碟 子 放 在 自 己 面 前 。 ‧ 她 把 新 嘗 試 做 （ 卻 失 敗 了 ） 的 菜 式 ， 放 在 自 己 面 前 。
‧ 熬 通 宵 的 翌 日 ， 桌 上 出 現 一 杯 去 濕 茶 。 5 分 鐘 後 ， 她 從 廚 房 伸 出 頭 來 ， 偷 看 你 有 沒 有 喝 。
‧ 你 為 了 打 發 她 ， 亂 說 自 己 抽 煙 不 算 兇 ， 她 回 答 說 ： 「 你 昨 天 抽 了 22 根 煙 。 」 原 來 每 趟 替 你 清 理 煙 灰 缸 的 時 候 ， 她 的 心 一 直 數 算 。
‧ 躺 在 床 上 的 時 候 ， 忽 然 發 覺 原 來 已 經 換 了 淨 的 被 鋪 。 然 後 想 起 被 鋪 好 像 昨 夜 早 已 換 了 … … 抑 或 是 前 天 呢 ？ 總 之 就 是 換 了 。
‧ 某 天 你 移 動 床 褥 ， 原 來 很 重 哦 … … 她 何 來 力 氣 獨 自 托 起 床 褥 去 換 床 單 的 ？
‧ 發 甚 麼 神 經 ？ 每 一 頓 飯 都 煮 牛 肉 。 「 我 見 你 上 星 期 把 那 碟 瓜 牛 肉 吃 清 光 嘛 … … 」 你 完 全 記 不 起 甚 麼 上 星 期 的 瓜 牛 肉 。
‧ 而 她 不 吃 牛 肉 的 。
‧ 她 拿 了 湯 水 給 你 ， 你 在 夜 忽 然 想 起 哎 喲 ！ 死 ！ 袋 子 有 一 壺 湯 ！
‧ … … 然 後 你 打 開 袋 子 ， 發 現 再 有 一 個 膠 袋 包 裹 湯 壺 ， 打 開 膠 袋 ， 發 現 湯 壺 外 再 有 數 條 橡 皮 圈 紮 一 層 抹 手 紙 。
‧ 她 致 電 你 ， 你 說 你 正 在 工 作 ， 她 說 一 句 「 對 不 起 」 就 急 忙 掛 線 。 她 向 你 說 對 不 起 。 她 向 你 說 對 不 起 。
‧ 她 很 緊 張 地 問 ： 「 我 抹 東 西 時 不 小 心 碰 到 你 的 電 腦 ， 畫 面 上 忽 然 有 光 ， 會 不 會 有 事 ？ 」
‧ 為 甚 麼 每 一 次 很 晚 回 家 ， 進 門 不 久 就 看 見 她 步 出 睡 房 去 洗 手 間 ？ 為 甚 麼 每 一 次 都 剛 巧 遇 上 你 回 家 的 時 候 上 廁 所 ？ 凌 晨 2 時 回 家 ， 她 就 2 時 上 廁 所 。 凌 晨 4 時 25 分 回 家 ， 她 就 4 時 25 分 上 廁 所 。 為 甚 麼 無 論 多 晚 回 家 都 遇 上 她 碰 巧 醒 來 ？
‧ 她 老 是 說 喝 汽 水 沒 有 益 。 你 發 現 雪 櫃 永 遠 有 喝 不 完 的 汽 水 。
‧ 腳 趾 踢 到 椅 腳 ， 嘩 痛 痛 痛 ！ 痛 一 會 就 不 痛 ， 你 嘩 啦 嘩 啦 跑 開 了 。 然 後 她 走 過 去 把 椅 子 移 開 。
‧ 你 某 天 發 現 她 腳 上 穿 你 的 一 雙 舊 襪 子 。
‧ 她 學 說 你 的 口 頭 禪 ， 又 要 講 錯 。
‧ 她 發 現 你 臉 上 每 一 顆 新 長 出 來 的 暗 瘡 ， 無 論 那 顆 暗 瘡 是 多 麼 的 小 。
‧ 她 輕 鬆 地 說 ： 「 你 前 天 不 夠 睡 ， 只 睡 了 6 小 時 哦 ， 昨 天 又 只 睡 了 5 個 小 時 。 」 其 實 連 你 自 己 也 不 記 得 。
‧ 她 明 明 在 默 默 熨 衣 服 ， 忽 然 說 起 ： 「 要 找 對 自 己 好 的 人 ， 知 道 嘛 ？ 」 然 後 你 發 現 她 原 來 在 想 關 於 你 的 事 。 你 不 回 應 她 ， 她 回 復 沉 默 。
‧ 但 你 知 道 她 仍 然 在 想 所 有 關 於 你 的 事 。
‧ 你 不 快 樂 ， 完 全 沒 有 表 現 出 來 。 她 突 然 問 起 你 近 來 怎 樣 。 你 說 ： 「 沒 甚 麼 哦 ！ 」 你 改 變 話 題 。 她 也 改 變 話 題 。 大 家 轉 說 其 他 軼 事 。 你 暗 暗 在 想 為 何 她 會 知 道 你 不 快 樂 。 你 知 道 她 根 本 不 相 信 你 那 句 「 沒 甚 麼 哦 」 。 大 家 口 中 繼 續 說 別 的 話 題 。
‧ 你 說 過 會 跟 她 飲 茶 。 她 清 晨 就 下 床 等 你 。 一 直 安 靜 地 坐 在 大 廳 中 ， 等 你 。
‧ 早 上 臨 出 門 前 ， 我 發 瘋 地 找 一 件 白 色 的 襯 衣 ， 你 翻 出 許 多 白 色 的 裙 子 、 白 色 的 褲 子 、 白 色 的 外 套 … … 我 說 算 了 ， 不 用 找 了 ， 轉 身 就 上 路 。 夜 回 家 ， 我 發 現 有 幾 件 白 色 的 衣 服 放 在 床 尾 ， 才 記 起 自 己 曾 經 找 過 那 襯 衣 … … 早 上 的 事 ， 我 已 經 忘 記 ， 你 卻 整 天 往 櫃 翻 ， 想 要 找 尋 任 何 白 色 的 襯 衣 … … 每 當 我 踏 出 家 門 的 時 候 ， 我 把 一 切 拋 諸 腦 後 ， 你 卻 把 那 一 刻 的 任 何 事 情 牢 記 住 。 在 外 面 ， 我 的 時 鐘 已 經 走 了 許 多 個 圈 。 你 的 時 鐘 ， 卻 停 留 在 我 步 出 家 門 的 一 刻 。 當 我 回 家 ， 你 的 時 鐘 才 從 我 離 開 那 個 時 刻 延 續 。 你 的 時 鐘 就 停 留 在 我 步 出 家 門 的 一 刻 。

For all dog (or cat) (or animal) lovers.

This is one of the best books I have read this year. If you love dogs, this is the perfect user manual. If you love animals, this book is for you too.

"A dog's love is the same as God's love. That's why 'dog' is 'god' spelt backwards." It cannot be more true.

Maybe I should get a few copies for my animal-loving friends for Christmas...

Vienna & London.

The Schonbrunn Palace. The weather was excellent that morning, which made all the difference. When we left after lunch, the sky was clouding up already.

The absolute highlight of my trip to Vienna - conker picking. Until then I didn't know what a conker was (horse chestnut, looks like a regular chestnut we see in HK, but you cannot eat it). Apparently children in UK collect them and turn them into a toy. Such is the privilege of kids in the west - they are so close to and comfortable with nature and what it offers; unlike most of the Hong Kong- (or city-) raised kids, who don't even know the feeling of walking barefoot on grass.

BB's highlight of his trip in Vienna - listening to a (free!) organ concert. I felt asleep half-way through.

A group of US tourists saw me giggling and taking photos of this statute. They immediately took out their cameras and did the same.

Natural History Museum in London. One of the less expensive (free entry!) activities in London. Everything else costs you an arm and a leg.

A giant spider, the current exhibition at Tate Modern.

Borough Market. It's not huge inside, but all stalls offer the freshest food in town - organic fruits, fish & chips, home-made everything (sausages and pies, cheese, chocolate truffles, olive oil, etc). We had a chorizo sandwich, a veggie burger, a sausage bun, a spicy cider and an apple juice. Very satisfying lunch.

The prize winning pork pie at Borough Market. I bought one and carried back home for my dad.

Running away from the credit crunch (or trying to...)

As our holiday draws to a close, here are some of our (in fact, these are written by BB) most memorable moments of our trip to London and Vienna:

1. picking newly hatched conkers for DB's first time (even more amazingly, in the gardens of the spectacular Schonbrunn Palace);
2. watching the horses train at Spanish Riding School (it's only now that we can appreciate the equestrian events at the Olympics);
3. eating weiner schnitzel at Figmuller where the schitzels are bigger than the plates themselves;
4. trekking round Vienna at night looking for an emergency chemist (for nurofen, not durex);
5. enjoying an organ concert at St Peters Church in Vienna;
6. celebrating Ian's wedding at Whitehall Place (one of the most lavish weddings we've been to in UK);
7. looking round the Natural History Museum in London (who said it's just for kids?);
8. lunching at Restaurant Gordon Ramsay (the first and hopefully not the last time we will be eating in such an amazing restaurant);
9. taking in the aroma of a box of fresh white truffles (at RGR);
10. DB being in Rothko paradise, surrounded by his paintings at Tate Modern;
11. BB being in shoe shop hell, surrounded by shelves upon shelves of boots (in both Vienna and London);
12. savouring the mushroom cheese pancakes at the Hampstead Creperie;
13. using the shopping scanners at Waitrose;
14. standing outside Covent Garden tube station in the rush hour and pouring rain;
15. getting used to London transport again;
16. getting used to having a bath every night rather than a shower;
17. catching up with friends and family; and
18. wishing that the economic doom and gloom will have blown over by the time we come back.

Photos to follow when we are back in HK.

小貓咪。

小貓終於找到主好人家了。除了愛心小姐外，還有其他人表示有興趣收養小貓。香港的有心人，還是有的。（但大多也是女性唷。）

由於新主人今天早上才接小貓，她昨晚便在我家度宿。我的三頭貓如臨大敵，整晚都在戒備狀態。直到今早，其中一隻對她好像友善多了，走上前又哄又聞。但是十分鐘後，小貓便要走了。

貓離開後，我竟然流了兩滴眼淚。想不到，只是一晚的相處，我會這樣捨不得。

小貓咪對世界充滿好奇，沒有戒心，無論大貓如何“怒啤”，她也一派天真無邪。在她眼中，世界是美好的，是充滿可能性的。看著她，我看到久遺了的，叫作“純良”的東西。我被她感動了。

大城小事。

*這幾個星期，工作前所未有的繁忙，每個project也是urgent，一天到晚也在check emails 和conference callls。
*看情況，未來幾個月，情況應該都沒有改善了。
*但看看Lehman Brothers, 又會暗自安慰，有份工作，已經很幸運了。
*原本在父母家裏的肥貓Lulu，最近因身體不適 -- 即年紀大（13歲）和癡肥（17磅）-- 要長期吃藥。父母照顧不了，結果Lulu“過檔”來了我和伯伯家。我看著Lulu由手掌般小巧，長大到現在我要出盡力才能把她抱起，13年晃眼就過。
*希望在Lulu有生之年，我可以好好照顧她。
*昨天下班時分，在往小巴站途中，看見一頭小貓咪。比手掌還小，但聲線洪亮，喵喵喵喵叫不停。（應是餓壞了。）我忍不住，把她抱起來，去了最近的獸醫診所。初步檢查，是頭一個月的小貓女，健康精靈，只需要杜蟲除蚤。因不能把她帶回家，只好把她暫留在獸醫診所。
*過去18小時不斷跟各流浪貓中心和愛貓朋友聯絡，看看能否為貓咪找到安身之所。
*剛剛收到電郵，有位愛心小姐想領養小貓！！

吃，因為無聊。

所以肥囉。

Spiced red wine poached pear.

"When there are no consequences, being wrong is simply an interesting diversion."

---- Saturday, Ian McEwan

A night with Tony Parsons.

My knowledge about Tony Parsons or his works does not go beyond Man and Boy, Man and Wife, and page 16 of One for My Baby, all of which I read over 6 years ago. However, when BB suggested that we attend a literary dinner with him, I was quick to say yes. After all, I have never been to a literary dinner before, and the mere words “li-te-ra-ry dinner” sound sexy and posh enough (shallow I know). Plus, lately I have been reading nothing but Hello!, Elle and Marie Claire (plus more than my share of Next Magazine, Sudden Weekly and other local trash gossip magazines), and therefore a literary dinner sounds a timely and much desired cultural fix.

So we found ourselves sitting inside Grappa’s at 7.30pm last night, waiting to meet the international bestseller (Man and Boy sold over two million copies worldwide). Dinner was from 7.30 to 9.00. At the price of $500 per person, dinner was, at most, mediocre. I had a Caesar salad and duck breast while BB went for the onion soup and chili spaghetti. When my dessert came (chocolate semifreddo with summer fruits), there was fruit juice all over the plate – obviously the kitchen staff did not bother to wipe the rims of the plates before serving the dish. I wonder what Chef Ramsay would say (apart from the two dozen F-words) if we were in Hell’s Kitchen. BB and I calculated that the cost of our 3-course meal plus a glass of wine would be less than $80. What a rip-off. But then again, we came for Tony, not the food; besides, who in the first place would have any expectation about Grappa’s food?

At 9pm, Mr. Parsons came to the podium. He was a lot funnier than his books (or at least my memories of them). He took questions from the audience and gave witty and very honest answers. For example, when asked what prompted his transition from being a music journalist to a novelist, he said without blinking “Unemployment!”. He is a huge fan of Hong Kong too, having visited the city many times over the past 10 years and having made some good friends here. According to him, Shanghai, the place where his latest novel (My Favourite Wife) is set and where he spent a lot of time over the past three years doing research, can never beat Hong Kong.

Despite having met him in person and coming home with two nicely autographed books, I still cannot say that I am tempted to start reading his latest work. BB, on the other hand, is busy reading The Family Way, a present from BB's dad that has been sitting on our book shelf for more than a year before finally finding its way into the light again.

It got me thinking – which writer would I want to meet most? This year, I think my answer would be him.

師徒。父子。

From Ming Pao Instant News (13.59, 18/8/2008)
------------

孫海平泣不成聲劉翔也哭了

劉翔因傷退賽，與他情同父子的教練孫海平在記者會上以手掩面，泣不成聲。他並透露，退出後劉翔也哭了。

「劉翔今天到了準備活動場地，他一直在堅持，他一直在玩命，」孫海平說，然後控制不住地哭了。

他說，劉翔當天上午要做準備活動的時候傷病再次發作，現場有三個醫生在替劉翔進行傷勢處理，最後實在沒有辦法了，用冷凍、噴霧，都沒用，最後請體育醫院的副院長進行按摩，給予劉翔最強的刺激，劉翔痛得渾身發抖，但還是沒法撐起來。傷在最受力的地方，一撐就軟下來，但是他始終在堅持。

「劉翔在進檢錄處之前，腳已經麻木了，但到了檢錄處以後，又慢慢恢復知覺了，但這時候，疼痛比以前還厲害，連走路都不行了。但他硬堅持還要跑，」孫海平說，眼圈又紅了。

他說：「劉翔賽後哭了，他非常難過。」

孫海平是劉翔的恩師，兩人第一次見面是在1998年的夏天，孫海平一眼看中了劉翔。「在同年齡的孩子中，他個子比較高。雖然技術比較差，但節奏感很好，這可是先天的優勢啊，當時我就想讓這孩子跟我練。」孫海平曾經這麼回憶說。

劉翔是中國田徑出國參賽最多的運動員，他與孫海平一起，在國外一站一站參加比賽，磨煉自己的比賽能力。

孫海平有打呼嚕的習慣，為了不耽誤劉翔比賽，晚上都等劉翔睡熟之後，自己才合眼睡去－－他要明確劉翔睡熟了，自己才能睡，直挺挺躺在床上，睜大眼睛讓自己清醒。

雅典奧運會前，為了備戰，孫海平把自己的老母親送到養老院，自己全天帶劉翔訓練。

這對師徒的關係，是中國體育界的楷模。雅典奧運會後，劉翔通過接拍廣告，在寸土寸金的上海為師傅孫海平「掙」下一套精裝修四室兩廳的大房子，不僅為孫海平解決了住房窘迫的難題，師徒倆還因此住進了同一個小區。一時傳為美談。

閉上眼，世界只有我一個。

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喜歡一個人孤獨的時刻 但不能喜歡太多
在地鐵站或美術館 孤獨像睡眠一樣餵養我
以永無止盡的墜落 需要音樂取暖
喜歡一個人孤獨的時刻 但不能喜歡太多

喜歡一個喝著紅酒的女孩 但不能喜歡太多
把她送上鐵塔 給全世界的人寫明信片
像一隻鳥在最高的地方 歌聲嘹亮
喜歡一個喝著紅酒的女孩 但不能喜歡太多

喜歡一個陽光照射的角落 但不能喜歡太多
是幼稚園的小朋友 笑聲像陽光一樣打擾我
我輕輕的揮一揮手 凝結照片的傷口
喜歡一個陽光照射的角落 但不能喜歡太多

喜歡一個人孤獨的時刻 但不能喜歡太多

---《太多》陳綺貞

Gratitude (Posted by BB).

From DBJ: Today it is my prerogative (or that is what I have told BB) to have someone else write my blog for me. So, over to BB.

From BB:

Once in a while DBJ has her "me-time". Today is one of those days. This is "divide and conquer" according to what we studied at Care Group. So DBJ is off (and this is not supposed to sound too SATC) to get her hair done and enjoy lunch with some girlfriends and then have dinner with parents.

Today is also DBJ's birthday. In the card I scribbled last night, I tried to jot down our highlights of the past year. My memory (and DBJ's, she will readily admit) gets worse and worse but our personal highlights ranged from the spiritually significant (finding a Care Group, DBJ's mum accepting Christ) to the more worldly and trivial (enjoying some great holidays, Nespresso parties and discovering "Settlers" and Ian McEwan's writing).

I hope we get the chance to sing Matt Redman's "Blessed Be Your Name" at tomorrow's service. If not, then we will be doing so in our hearts.

I will be back (at least) 3kg more.

Taiwan is an evil place. Really. With its XiaoLongBao, hot & spicy steamboat, Japanese restaurants (yes Japanese food in Taiwan), various forms of noodles, pineapple cakes, sweet and savoury pastries...etc., Taiwan is a place anyone who is on a diet should avoid like a plague.

And I am going there tomorrow! For three days! How I have missed you, food market! And you, Yummiest-BBQ-corn-I-have-ever-had, here I come again!

Blessed are the brave ones, for they will buy new, bigger sets of clothes soon.

JK Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement

You can watch and read her inspiring speech here.

A couple of quotes:

(On her parents wishing her to take a vocational degree) --
"...I do not blame my parents for their point of view. There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you."

(On what we can do to make a difference) --
"If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped transform for the better. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better."

Quick update.

If I haven't been updating my blog as frequently as I should, it's because:

1) I have been travelling - I just came back from a Bangkok eating and spa trip. I have had so many bowls of Tong Yum Kung that now I have decided to stay off it for the rest of the year. Next trip is end of July, destination Taiwan.

2) I have been busy googling and youtube-ing him. Have you watched Wanted? If not, I urge you to. Not only will you find it extremely entertaining (though in a weird way), you will also get to see "Britain's brightest up-and-coming actor" (quote from Arena). Then watch (or re-watch) Atonement, Becoming Jane, Penelope, The Last King of Scotland and Starter for 10, and you will know what I mean.

不相愛的好處。

於9426.2公里外，你在電話的那一頭說：“我想我現在明白你當時在倫敦生活時那種孤單的感覺。” 之後的那一句，即使你沒有說出來，我都聽懂。

親愛的，其實你並不如你想像中的那麼瞭解我。我在外頭的那些時間，曾是很多東西，但孤單，從來不是。

能與分手了的男人做回朋友，只因不用再無時無刻披起肩甲去捍衛自己的立場想法價值觀。沒有無窮的寄望，沒有無聊的對峙，尋回喘氣的空間，演化成一段有適當距離，恰當關心，和沒有壓力的友誼。剛剛好。

於是，我在電話的這邊說: “嗯，是嗎。”

I am singing this song in my head all day long at work. (Don't worry I can multi-task.)

As we gather my Your Spirit work within us
As we gather may we glorify Your Name
Knowing well that as our hearts begin to worship
We’ll be blessed because we came
We’ll be blessed because we came

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
His mercies never come to an end
They are new every morning, new every morning
Great is Thy faithfulness oh Lord
Great is Thy faithfulness

And then I found this on Youtube.

">

Random thoughts.

I am so glad I went to see this with Mum on Monday. She enjoyed it tremendously too.

I love mother-daughter bonding time.

-----------------------

Quite a few friends (or their parents or spouses) are encountering various health issues, some more serious than others. While I continue to be vigilant in my prayer for them, it also put everything in perspective. Not that many years ago, I still thought that my parents were invincible and they and I would live forever (or at least for the next 60 years or so).

hmmm.

-----------------------

Am having dinner with Dad tonight. Mum has plans so he is feeling a bit lonely at home.

I love father-daughter bonding time.

Randy Pausch.

If you haven't heard about Randy Pausch or watched any of his on-line lectures (I am watching this), I strongly recommend that you do it now.

He is a truly inspiring person, and extremely funny too.

I am generally a happy bunny and glass-is-always-half-full type of person, but I would kill to be half as optimistic as Randy is. He is amazing.

Some quotes:

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."

"..when you are pissed off at somebody... you just haven't given them enough time. Just give them a little more time and they will almost always impress you."

"The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something... the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people."

After the Storm

After the storm she laid her naked body
down in wet grass, closed her eyes,
the heaviness gone from the air,

from her life. The breath of the earth
warmed her skin, filled her lungs.
One by one the animals reappeared

from the woods, from their hiding places
deep in the woods, to nervously nuzzle
the strange thing, lick a shoulder or thigh.

But still she lay, unmoving and quiet.
And she lay and and she lay for a hundred years,
while the grass grew over her limbs, breasts

and hair, took her body into the earth,
into the deep, sweet earth of the world.

--- by Jonathan Attrill

Revelation.

I am still bittered, after all these years.

I thought I have forgotten, I thought I have forgiven, but reality always bites.

Sigh.

給我的靚仔朋友。係呀，係你呀。

放心，我不會那麽埋没人性地把我們談論的話題放到這裏来，雖然我好想。

但有些事，真的想再清楚說明一下。你嫌我長氣都係咁話。

即是呢…我哋呢…其實年紀唔細架啦，新陳代謝又開始慢，如果學人玩火，燒到自己的話，有排都好唔番呀（重可能毀容！）。

共勉之。

不是一封信。

早幾天，洗衣服時，忽然想起你。Ｃ說你洗恤衫時，要把恤衫仔細的分門別類 --- 淺色的、深色的、條子的、暗花的、格仔的。。。不能混在一起。你是我認識的人當中對洗恤衫最講究的。　

還有你高超的燙衣技巧，燙過的衣服，效果就像洗衣店的專業燙衣一樣。還有你那對整潔秀氣的一雙手，與那十塊大大的，接近完美的，比好些女孩還要漂亮的指甲。還有你的英式幽默、跟伯伯相似的電影口味、你當司儀時那種口才和自信、我們在那陽光燦爛的早上於Phoenix吃的早餐。　

你也令我體會到，生命脆弱得可以，有些重要事情的確刻不容緩。過去一年來，我很積極的帶爸媽返教會。我媽媽比較正面，當我跟她說有關決志受浸的事，她也頗為接受；爸爸則常被我半推半哄下跟我們去。上星期跟他們去家裏附近的比較傳統的教會，他們事後說“D詩歌好似悶咗D囉。”唏，兩老好像小孩一樣。

想起來，真的要謝謝你。將來有機會，我定會把爸媽介紹給你認識。

一晃眼，便一年了。你好嗎？

Selflessness. Courage. Endurance. Unity. Survival.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned in life: It goes on." --- Robert Frost

Life is a Blessing.

Emma, my niece.


Wonder of all wonderment!
Momentous moment when small form
First feels life in itself.
When new eyes open wide
On old, old world.
When tiny hands handle air;
Touch tenderness and love.
When ears first wake to sound
And silent lips find voice and food.
Soon newly wakened baby wearies.
World will keep.
Being born is quite enough
For one short day.
Baby hands rest;
Baby mouth yawns;
Baby eyes close in sleep.

--- Baby's First Day, by Mary Dawson Hughes

Mother-and-Son, Religion 101.

"I don't see why I can't be all three. Mamaji has two passports. He's Indian and French. Why can't I be a Hindu, a Christian and a Muslim?"
"That's different. France and India are nations on earth."
"How many nations are there in the sky?"
She thought for a second. "One. That's the point. One nation, one passport."
"One nation in the sky?"
"Yes. Or none. There's that option too, you know. These are terribly old-fashioned things you've taken to."
"If there's only one nation in the sky, shouldn't all passports be valid for it?"
A clould of uncertainty came over her face.
"Bapu Gandhi said ---"
"Yes, I know what Bapu Gandhi said." She brought a hand to her forehead. She had a weary look, Mother did. "Good grief," she said.

--- From Life of Pi

On Agnosticism.

To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of tansportation.

--- From Life of Pi

With Love from Switzerland.

Standing on Jungfraujoch, surrounded by white, almost all by myself. I felt so overwhelmed, and a little bit scared.

My near-death experience (ok ok I am exaggerating) and my trousers after escaping from the 12-inch deep snow.

Thun - where we stayed for BB's training. The weather was fantastic for a few days and behind the hotel was this magnificant Thunersee Lake. I walked along the lakeshore everyday, marvelling at the lake and the grass and the trees and the clouds and the blue sky. It's heaven on earth.

My virgin "lunch by myself" experience - I have this notion that it is sad to be eating a meal by yourself (a quick coffee at Starbucks is OK; lunch in Cafe de Coral is no; dinner at Spoon is miserable beyond description). However, since BB was in training while I travelled to Emmental, and I was desperate to try out their local restaurant menu containing (what else but) emmental cheese, I had no choice but to find myself telling the waitress "table for one please".

The verdict - it wasn't too bad, as long as you have a book that you can pretend to read. And the cheese and vegetables rosti was yummy but extremely filling (I only managed to finish 1/3 of it).

...?!

這幾天我邊看CNN邊陰陰嘴笑，“嘿全世界都有人示威反對你違反人權唔配主辦奧運啦呢次你重唔瘀爆睇你重夠唔夠膽係咁鎮壓西藏吖喇”。

今天當我上網看公司電郵時，赫然發現，我的老闆有份在法國傳聖火！

Jungfraujoch.

When I was sitting on the seat at Platform 2 of the Thun railway station, my soon-to-be-completely abandoned itinerary was simple enough – I would go to Interlaken, take a quick stroll around the lake, maybe grab a sandwich to eat, then get back on the train and go to another town. Today would be my town-hopping day, the best thing to do to make my 5-day Rail Pass worth its money.

I know Jungfrau lies within the Interlaken region, but I never really thought about going there. For some inexplicable reasons (lack of research obviously), I was under the assumption that you need to have an oxygen mask (wrong) and full ski equipment (wrong) to embark on this freezing (oh yes) journey to climb the 4,158m high mountain, “Top of Europe” as it is dubbed, and my high street outfit (flimsy Zara turtle-neck wool top, worn-out fleece jacket, jeans and sneakers) is neither convincing or appropriate. How wrong was I.

On the train to Interlaken Ost, I consulted with my colorful DK travel guide, and to my surprise discovered that there are rack railway services that take you all the way from Interlaken to Jungfraujock, the icy saddle that lies just below the Jungfrau summit. And after a few railway changes, I found myself standing, still in my Zara top and jeans, 3,454m above sea level, out in the open, surround by a sea of pure dazzling white snow, breathing the very thin air that is left, freezing but overjoyed. Overjoyed because of the unexpectedness of the whole thing; I was genuinely pleasantly surprised.

However, as I was taking pictures with my numb fingers (good), making snowballs (oh so good) and later on accidentally stepping into the 2-feet deep snow and having a hard time pulling myself of the cold and wet (still good), a sense of sadness suddenly rushed to me. I felt incredibly lonely. Moments like this are meant to be shared with your loved ones, and mine happens to be stuck in the conference room back in Thun, three hours away and 3,454 meters below me. The fact that I was all alone on the snow mountain (the only other human being in sight is a staff member, with his working husky) was of little help.

During the past few days, BB and I have been talking about our many “first times” that happened in this trip – those shared moments (very often silly ones) that lovers cherish so much that they put them in a special compartment in their heart the key to which belong to the other person, and that many years after they can easily recall, reminisce and laugh about them. Today could have easily found its way straight to that special compartment, if only BB were with me.

Standing at the Top of Europe with my snowball, I missed BB I have never missed him before.

South to North.

BB and I are going to Switzerland this Friday. He is attending a training programme in Thun, and being such a good wife, of course I would tag along to *ahem* make sure he is well taken care of during his stay, thank you very much.

Too bad there's not much (shopping) to do in Thun, but at least it is close to Emmental, hometown to the famous cheese. I will come back another size bigger for sure. Bad news for BB.

While I am getting ready for my 3rd trip in two months, I now have a bit of time to sort through the Sydney photos. Once again, food photos have taken up more than half of the album. And you wonder why I am getting happier (read: fatter) each day.

！！

心血來潮，踏進一家之前從沒去過的髮型屋。就在回家小巴站對面，很方便。

我：唔該我想係咁咦剪短幾寸。
髮型師：但係呢個髮型唔襯你image喎（！），不如我將你D頭髮釋放（！！）出來，有D新鮮感吖？
我：[額角開始冒汗] ...嗯，但係我唔想剪得太短喎，一定要過膊頭，等我紮到馬尾呀。
髮型師：我幫你剪個你一定會滿意嘅頭，放心啦，唔會剪好多嘅唧。

[完事後]

髮型師：睇吓，依家你D頭髮幾釋放（！！！），完全唔同晒！
我：......!

...結果，原本只想“係咁咦”修修髮尾的我，變成短髮妹。十幾年未試過咁短呀陰功！

故事教訓 -- 對住陌生人，要懂得說“不”！

慘爆。

感冒剛好，但咳嗽未清，差不多每兩天便喝完一瓶藥水，但仍未痊愈。唉。

藥水的副作用之一，便是頭暈。於是本來已有耳水不平衡的我，現在每逢坐車（我家住銅鑼灣公司在荃灣喎！）便頭暈作嘔，慘過大肚婆。

（大小事）幾段。

*從法國出差回來後，沮喪不已。學了幾個月的法文，到頭來只懂說“bon jour”跟“merci”。難道我的（少少）語言天分，真的自十四歲後便離我而去了？ 抑或我該怪責我那個沒有耐性/時間把我作育成才的老公？

*幾天復活節假期，行行企企又過了。歡樂的時間總是以光速消逝的。

*今天看報紙，看到有關新西蘭車禍Clara的報道，很難過。我一直很留意這單新聞，因我也曾到新西蘭駕車渡蜜月，有點身同感受，但我不能想象同一時間失去所有至親會有多痛苦。如果失憶能令她的傷痛減少，我希望她可以永遠忘記。

*星期六，我會開始去Hong Kong Dog Rescue做義工。從沒想過，一向愛貓的我，會去一個狗中心幫忙。但我曾經在回家途中，看着同一條路邊，由只有幾頭母狗變成幾頭大狗加一堆小狗，我的心難過極了。 我希望能為流浪狗狗盡一點力。

*伯伯告訴我，今期The Post Magazine有關於北京人吃貓的報道，圖文並茂。我驚到整本Magazine碰都不敢碰。

*昨晚發惡夢，夢見自己返工（那是間陌生的公司，不是現實那家）遲到14分鐘，便馬上被炒掉（還要很高調，被全公司的人看見！）。不是説笑，我的心到現在都撲撲跳，好驚！

*很想問但不敢問 -- 多久才算久？7個月？一年？抑或3年？8年？抑或只要一切“在心中”，時間長短便不再是問題？

From today's Apple Daily.

I cannot agree more.

-------

陶 傑 短 評 ︰ 拯 救 遺 棄 動 物

柴 灣 青 童 十 惡 ， 虐 殺 小 貓 棍 棒 交 加 ， 十 惡 中 最 年 少 者 ， 是 十 三 歲 女 童 。 在 被 街 上 捕 獲 時 ， 猶 自 嘻 笑 喧 嘩 。 治 亂 世 ， 懲 暴 民 ， 柴 灣 十 惡 ， 都 是 青 少 年 ， 是 董 曾 治 下 長 大 的 一 代 ， 殺 貓 慘 案 ， 四 日 三 宗 ， 因 為 特 區 育 失 敗 ， 親 美 崇 洋 ， 胡 亂 抄 襲 英 美 「 自 由 育 」 ， 尤 禁 止 家 長 師 體 罰 學 童 ， 指 體 罰 會 令 兒 童 「 留 下 心 理 陰 影 」 。 柴 灣 虐 貓 十 惡 ， 即 成 長 在 沒 有 體 罰 的 「 自 由 育 新 世 代 」 。 這 十 大 奸 惡 ， 小 時 就 是 欠 打 ， 方 始 驕 縱 成 魔 。 今 日 無 端 虐 殺 小 貓 ， 明 日 就 是 開 膛 割 腹 的 雨 夜 連 環 殺 手 ， 請 有 心 人 明 查 暗 訪 ， 網 上 公 佈 十 惡 的 照 片 姓 名 ， 令 全 港 市 民 長 期 警 惕 。 今 日 香 港 ， 加 重 對 虐 殺 貓 狗 的 刑 懲 ， 比 甚 麼 立 法 禁 止 體 罰 兒 童 更 重 要 。 元 朗 白 沙 村 ， 有 一 所 保 護 遺 棄 動 物 的 慈 善 之 家 ， 市 民 只 須 每 月 寄 去 少 量 金 錢 ， 即 可 領 養 遺 棄 的 貓 狗 ， 善 款 可 以 扣 稅 ， 比 起 交 稅 養 庸 官 更 有 意 義 ， 查 詢 電 話 二 八 三 八 ○ 六 三 三 ， 為 了 香 港 的 未 來 ， 愛 遺 棄 的 動 物 ， 多 積 陰 德 吧 。

歡樂的時光過得特別快 --- 悉尼。

明天便回香港了。8天，在悉尼，剛剛好。伯伯說，前後去了3次悉尼，差不多所有好玩的、旅客必到的地方我們都去過了。又是時候講拜拜。

但休息不夠一星期，又要飛。公幹在巴黎。

然後四月，再見瑞士（如果老闆肯讓我放假的話）。

嘩，今年睇怕都比我renew到張銀卡啦吓話。

天使跟魔鬼在打仗。

我的缺點，有時候連自己都覺得過分。

譬如三分鐘熱度。
譬如懶惰。
譬如自私。
譬如會用諸般藉口，掩飾自己的三分鐘熱度、懶惰跟自私。

我有三星期時間去擊退魔鬼。

----------------

明明感冒，又咳又鼻水又周身痛，還會半夜三更寫blog。我的缺點，還包括不懂得照顧自己。

DBJ, aged 3 to 17.

Last Saturday, my old school hosted its 60th anniversary dinner at the Intercontinental Hotel. Donald Tsang, our Chief Executive, was the Guest of Honor. I had to give this special event a miss since I had prior engagements, but my good friend C, who went to the dinner, passed on to me the cutest party favour ever. "Since you had been in every single one of these uniforms, you should have it." She said. C only attended my old school from Form 1 to Form 7.

From left to right on the picture: Summer kindergarten, winter kindergarten, summer primary, winter primary, summer secondary, winter secondary.

Oh yeah, I spent my kindergarten / primary school / secondary school / A-level years in the same little corner in Kowloon Tong. Looking at these key chains, all those sweet memories came rushing to my head.

日子是這樣過。

情人節晚上，我與伯伯在家打邊爐。

好（不）浪漫。

好在都有張情人卡收吓，嘿。

辣手摧花。

我那盆爸爸給我弄的蘭花，已在半死狀態中。

唉。

The sweetest Valentine's message

My mobile phone just blinked and this message popped up:

"His gracious love and mercy grows to depths and heights that no man knows. That gracious love and mercy shall be always, forever binding you and me. Happy Valentine! P"

Happy Valentine's Day to you too, P. I wish Stockholm is bringing you sunshine today.

Clafoutis [kla-foo-tee].

I want to make this. Am thinking pears or strawberries instead.

從他她她（以及她她她她她）想到。

刻下全城都在熱烈談論陳先生鍾小姐張小姐的春宮照。我也好想加把嘴，但什麽都沒看過的我（試過google，但什麽都被剷掉了），一點建設性/沒建設性的意見都沒有。唉，好out。

-----

反而從報章看到兩則有趣的新聞，都與記憶有關。一段是關於一個肥仔，嘗試用電擊的方法減肥，但肥膏減不掉，記憶卻增強了，令他想起20年前久被遺忘的往事。第二段則說有研究人員，用電極植入腦袋方法，喚醒陳年記憶，說可以幫助老人家或癡呆症病人云云。

我一直覺得腦袋是個神聖不可侵犯的領域。裏面裝滿了秘密，也充滿了人類智慧不能拆解的奧妙。記憶，是腦裏最輕、卻又最重的“物質”。説是“物質”，但它其實跟風一樣，跟愛情一樣，跟上帝一樣，看不見，觸不到，但確實存在。

大部分時候，記憶是我們的好朋友。一些傷痛的經歷、不堪回首的過去、或者不爲人知的黑暗秘密，你一直想把它忘記。然後，不知不覺地，記憶會隨着時間，一起流逝。然後，你再努力也想不起了，就算想起了，那些以前把你折騰得死去活來，不知害你哭濕了多少衣袖的前塵往事，現在都像別人的故事，不搔不癢了。（失去）記憶成了我們的保護罩，使我們可以有力量有勇氣重新做人。

然而，有時候，記憶是我們的敵人。有些事情，任憑你怎麽努力把腦袋翻來覆去，記不起就是記不起。與舊情人初次碰面的場景、聼過最甜蜜的話、小時候的玩伴、什麽原因令你愛上某個人...所有的記憶都是模糊的。

早陣子，媽媽跟我說，嫲嫲在眾多孫兒中，最疼愛我。這個事實，我是知道的，但我就是怎也想不起嫲嫲怎樣疼我的回憶。

除了這一件事 -- 有一天，嫲嫲生病了。家裏本來特地準備了些餅乾，準備給她在吃葯前吃的，但嗜食（所以胖）的我，把所有餅乾都吃掉。那晚半夜，嫲嫲不舒服，很想吃餅乾，叫我去便利店幫她買。其實當時我知道她是非常需要吃些東西的，否則她這麽疼我，不會半夜三更都要求我去買。但我怕黑，又怕鬼，怎樣都不肯去。那個夜裏，嫲嫲最後什麽沒有吃。

我很清楚記得這件事，因爲從來只有我嚷着她買這個給我，弄那個給我。她唯一請求過我做的事，就在那個晚上。而我拒絕了她。過了大概兩年吧，嫲嫲便離世了(當然不是因為那塊餅乾!)。

這是17年前的事。到現在，我仍清楚記得那晚她躺在床上，對我説話時，氣弱如絲的樣子。

所以說，回憶有時候最喜歡作弄人。

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可能現在一眾娛樂圈受害人最希望的，是把觀衆的集體回憶delete掉，就像在“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”裏，Joel把有關Clementine的記憶洗掉一樣。裸照？什麽裸照？!

日誌。

近來疏於寫blog，因工作實在忙碌。（我知我知，你們一定會話“吓你份工差不多是全世界最hea嘅工嚟嗰喎，都會忙？”）（都怪我平時給你們太多假象了，其實我工作很辛苦的，責任又重大...）

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早幾天，經過一整天的email轟炸、電話會議、草稿文件、跟進這跟進那之後，放工時分人已虛脫，腦袋一片空白。連平常坐小巴回家途中最愛做的事 --- 發白日夢 --- 都不想了。眼只是漫無目的地望住窗口外的已經變暗的風景。從IPod傳到耳裏，重複又重複的，是這首歌：

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每日金句。

“你們祈求，就給你們；尋找，就尋見；叩門，就給你們開門。
因為凡祈求的，就得著；尋找的，就尋見；叩門的，就給他開門。”

--- 馬太福音7章7-8節

I can have it everyday for the rest of my life.

Yes, this.

Portishead - Roads

From Dummy, their debut album.

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(Since I learned how to upload video clips to the blog, I have been having so much fun doing it. But you already know that don't you.)

我愛的；愛我的。

爸爸給我弄的蘭花 -- 他自己買花，買花盆，買泥，自己砌。

土鍋貓。

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多得素顔天使讓我認識什麽是土鍋貓。

等我去買個瓦鍋，看看小寳跟豬仔包是否也會自動自覺走入去睡覺！！

Jasmine's interview on RTHK.

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每日金句。

“如果你有能力去照顧其他人的話，已經係福氣。” --- CK．

“這恩典是　神用諸般智慧聰明、充充足足賞給我們的、都是照他自己所豫定的美意、叫我們知道他旨意的奧秘、要照所安排的、在日期滿足的時候、使天上地上一切所有的、都在基督裡面同歸於一。”　--- 以弗所書1章8－10節

近來我忙於煲碟。

Battlestar Galactica - 由Season 1頭兩集被伯伯半強逼下收看（家裏只有一部電視機），到現在Season 2 尾聲看得欲罷不能，一個字：Apollo （嘩，靚仔到吖）。鐵定星期四（C小姐借我DVD之日）開始煲Season 3 。之後問題來了：美國3月才播Season 4，幾時等得到出DVD？哎呀，要吊癮添。

Huff - 多得C小姐的介紹，現正看Season 1。不算大路的劇集，但看下去又覺得挺有趣。但在美國只播了兩個Season便停止production，很可惜。

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Updated: 差點忘記現在美國編劇大霸工，3月播唔播到BSG都成問題。Oh no!

Jasmine's photography exhibition @ InnoCentre, Kowloon Tong.

The opening ceremony went very well, thanks to everybody's help. And on behalf of Home Care for Girls, thank you for your kind support and donation. (I know some of my friends have contacted the organisation and made a donation.)

As I was the MC of the event, I didn't take any pictures. The ones posted above were taken by BB.

Jasmine attracted quite a lot of media coverage, like ATV news, Sing Tao Daily and SCMP. RTHK will do a programme about Jas and this event, and I think it will be broadcasted on 16th January. Watch out!

與媽對話。

除夕夜，我與伯伯，跟老爺奶奶和爸爸媽媽（對，我們６人，under the same roof）在家中火鍋渡新年。先吃火鍋，再吃雪糕火鍋 （ice-cream fondue）。

能與父母一起渡過2007年最後一天，也算福氣。

早幾年前，若叫我在除夕留在家，跟家人一起，我覺得是慘絕人寰的一件事。

人大了，便更懂得珍惜家人。現在我頂多隔日便跟爸媽通個電話。說的大都是些無聊話，例如：

我：“喂，搞緊咩呀？”
媽：“睇緊電視囉。”
我：“屋企有咩報告？”
媽：“無嘢報告喎。”
我：“D貓點呀？”
媽：“都係咁囉。”
我：“叫LuLu（貓咪２號）過來講兩句啦。”
媽：（笑）“痴綫啦，LuLu鬼識同你講嘢咩！”（儘管如是説，媽仍然會叫LuLu過來，把電話筒放在牠耳朵旁，然後我便會好像癲婆般，對着電話叫“LuLu!! LuLu!!”）
媽：“好啦，收綫啦。”
我：“哦，拜拜。”

有時候，爸媽跟兒女講電話，内容還是其次，聽到兒女聲音才是重點。（想起匯豐(?)早年伯伯婆婆食麵的廣告 -- “不是為了食碗面，是爲了見你一面呀。”）

我們都老了。

老土但要做的事。

我的2008展望：

1）多點親近神，多點信任神。多做些事奉工作，最好與伯伯一起做多些couple's ministry work。更主動地傳福音。
2）運動。做多些運動。最好隔日便做運動。多些運動小些肥。
3）學好法文。上個月開始，伯伯開始教我法文，希望在今年内可以達到小學程度。（起碼懂得看餐牌問路看化妝品説明書）。
4）多看書。非正式統計，我在2007年應該看了40多本書。希望今年可以看多一點。書中自有黃金屋嘛。
5）做些有關動物權益的義務工作。有關這事，我已經開始做資料收集。