What if I have to stay in the hospital for Chinese New Year?

My back pain is getting worse. This morning I could hardly sit on the toilet seat (the first thing that came to mind: Sh*t if I can't sit on the toilet how can I pee?????) At the end I managed to do the thing but it's p-a-i-n-f-u-l (the sitting down part, not the action itself). And afterwards I spent 3 minutes trying to pull myself up again.

I am now sitting on my chair in the study but I can still feel the pain. When I was sitting down yesterday it was fine. Apparenty the antibiotics I am taking doesn't quite work.

And my damn x-ray results won't be out until end of the week.

I am officially worried now.

Update: It is 3 o' clock now and my mobility has improved a bit (I can go to the toilet now yipee) though it's still far from satisfactory. But at least the extra-strong panadol seems to be working.

Murphy's law

I have injured my back mysteriously. Everything was fine (ok there has been a slight uncomfortable feeling for a month or two but doesn't everyone have back pain?) until yesterday evening when I really started to feel it getting stiff and painful. Then this morning I could hardly get off my bed without screaming my head off. The pain comes from inside the spine; it's nervous pain rather than muscle pain, and therefore much sharper.

I have my spine x-rayed but results will only be available in a few days' time. Meanwhile, I am on Panadol and antibiotics. I cannot make big movements, I cannot bend my back, I cannot squat; I feel like a 70-year-old.

And did I mention I am having the flu too and my nose is runny and I am building a mountain of tissue balls on my desk?

Grrrrr.

星期一郊遊記

在鄉下返工的好處是中午可以去一些平常人只會在放假才去的地方吃飯（譬如深井）。

不過也要有一些在你附近返工，又有駕車，又會好好興致去深井吃午飯，仲會好好人車埋你一齊去食的朋友（譬如朋友G），才能成事。

陳記的燒鵝好好吃喲！

大笨黃昏新聞報告

朋友來電，帶來了一個消息，心裏暗暗擔心。要為這事狠狠祈禱。

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昨晚爸媽來探訪，連同伯伯一起做了我的白老鼠，吃了我弄的提拉米蘇。上一次弄這甜品已是五年前，當時家人的反應是 ---“嘩呢pat咩o黎？o甘核突o既”。那時候我知道，Tiramisu is a dessert of love for love --- 只有當我在戀愛中才能夠弄到一個好味的提拉米蘇（那個好味的提拉米蘇七年前在英國出世）。從此以後，只敢吃，不敢弄，這個咖啡蛋糕成爲我的死穴。

多年後的昨日，再次出擊。這次，就連平常不嗜甜品的媽咪也說“幾好味吖”。心裏快樂的不得了，這是我人生中第二個好味的Tiramisu。

戀愛萬歲。謝謝伯伯。

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昨天晚上看Discovery Travel & Living, Anthony Bourdain 在瑞典遊山玩水，令我想起朋友A。在她還在瑞典住的那幾年，我曾經特地飛去探望她。往後這麽多年，我們只見過一次面，還是我往倫敦時她特別從芬蘭飛來跟我會合。人與人的關係真的很奇妙，有些人你可能一生才見幾次，平時通訊也不多，但其實你很想念他們，而當你們碰面時一切又是那麽自然，細水長流的友誼，就是這樣。朋友A如是，朋友M也如是。

臨睡前給A發了一個SMS，今早收到她的回覆，開心了半天。

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早上伯伯給我發了電郵，什麽也沒說，只有一個“:-)”。知道什麽回事的我，又是開心了半天（所以我總共開心了一整天哈哈）。

I woke up at 7am, stood in the rain and smiled at strangers for 5 hours in return for this...

This morning, I, together with hundreds of other volunteers, helped this organisation raise funds by selling flags (for those who have not lived in HK, a flag is a sticker which is given to you when you make a small donation). The last time I sold flags was when I was 15 years old, so this time I was quite nervous. I was not sure if I would be thick-thinned enough to approach people and ask them for money, and how I would react if I was brutally rejected by people.

It turned out that I didn't do too badly. I sold quite a lot of flags and my money bag was so heavy that my arms are hurting now.

I am not going to bore you with the details of my morning (how it was raining most of the time so that people were more reluctant to stop and reach for their wallets; how some people, upon seeing me from a mile, took a complete detour just to avoid me; how some people looked at me like I was the dirtiest filth; how some people lied their way out of making a donation ("oh I don't have any money" when they were carrying various shopping bags); how heart-warming it was when some people said the kindest words of encouragement to me; how touched I was when the least-unexpected people approached me and made a donation). I will just say:

- there are many kind-hearted people, and there are also many nasty people
- however badly those nasty people treat me, and however much I wanted to tell them "you will rot in hell!", I should refrain from doing so because I shall not judge people. This right is reserved for the Almighty (when Jesus was ill-treated by his opponents he did not curse them...well I was just human)
- when I meet the kind-hearted people, I should be thankful and treasure those brief encounters, because they are the ones who make this world a better place
- as much as I love sleeping in on a Saturday morning, I was glad that I was part of the event today. Helping people and feeling great about it is more powerful than any big breakfast I can have.

"I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine you did for me." -- Matthew 25:40

For the sake of BB's happiness...

I am quite relieved that I have made up my mind not to take the new job (though I still have not broken the news to my recruiter). If I take the job, I may not be able work on my cooking skills as much as I would like, and that would greatly reduce my chance of becoming the HK version of Nigella. Not good...

The Ring

I am still avoiding calls from my recruiter. I am just not very good at saying "no".

Maybe I should flip a coin

Got a call from my recruiter yesterday telling me the "good news" - the global sporting company that I interviewed with is ready to give me a job offer. The recruiter told me the major terms and if I say yes, they will go put together a formal written offer letter for me to sign.

I thought I was well-prepared for this day to come. I mean, you go for interviews hoping that one day an offer will land on your desk, and when it does, you should be overjoy right? This is not exactly how I am feeling. I think since the departure of my boss, things have changed a bit in my company and now I am having second thoughts about leaving.

Perhaps I should just do what a lawyer always does - make lists.

Current company

Pros:
- temporary boss is a good guy with good values; and he is a Christian
- really good hours (those who know me would know that I leave office at 6pm sharp most days)
- my acting boss is in ShenZhen so I am the only lawyer in the HK office, hence the freedom
- the work I do is almost no-brainer; perfect for a person with zero ambition

Cons:
- office is in the rural (takes over 2.5 hours in commuting every day)
- requires travelling to SZ (my mum is not too happy about it; she hears all kinds of horrible stories involving kidnapping or cutting up people)
- in absolute terms (i.e. without taking in account the flexible hours I enjoy) salary is not fantastic
- dealing with PRC clients can sometimes be extremely painful
- whenever people ask me what I do and I tell them the name of my company, they will go "Which company?" It doesn't feel good if you work for a company that no one has heard of, when it is supposed to be a household brand in China.

Global Sporting Company

Pros:
- truly household brand (I would seriously wonder where you have been for the past 20 years if you do not know this brand)
- office is 20 minutes from my home
- including a discretionary target bonus (which the company claims were paid out in full to every staff member in the past few years), there will be a 22% salary increase from my current job
- no need to have frequent day trips to China

Cons:
- I heard that my future boss is quite fussy about punctuality (if you come into the office at 9.01am or leave for lunch at 12.59pm, she would greet you with a black face)
- from the due diligence I've done, a few predecessors of mine left the company only after a few months... intriguing.
- I will not have my own office - it's all open plan (I have never worked in an open-plan environment before in my life; I need the quietness in an office to focus)

So there you go. Will have to think hard and pray hard about it. Will keep you posted.

也許當時年紀少

最近常常想起自己以往的所作所爲。一些不太光彩的事。不是什麽彌天大罪，都是一些你和我年少無知時會說會做的，而事後覺得自己無限白痴的事。

說過的差勁笑話（當時以爲自己好funny!）。 爲了接近/拒絕一些人而講過的謊話。爲了與某些人在一起而做的，自己以爲很偉大，卻把他嚇壞的舉動。為了挽留某些人而做出的各種愚蠢行爲。

以爲事過境遷，人與物也幾番新，少年愚昧應該不用太介懷，況且“舊事以過，都變成新的了”。但原來午夜夢廻，想起這些瘀事，還是會面紅耳赤，宜不得一世躲在被窩裏，不用面對自己面對人。

以前做事衝動，沒有思前想後，落得不堪下場，還可以賴“當時年紀少”。現在人大了，成熟了，同樣的錯便不能（亦沒有藉口）再犯。但人的成熟速度總比我們期望為慢，而地球依舊自轉公轉，我們也只可硬着頭皮，繼續走我們要走的路，然後暗自禱告，希望以後不要再癡那些康復中的孖筋，再做那些我們以後不知怎樣跟兒孫交待的低能行爲。

畢竟有些瘀人瘀事，真的一次也嫌太多。

最漂亮的叉燒

昨天晚上，老朋友（大家小學時坐同一校車）兼舊同事兼鄰居致電：“上來看叉燒啦！”我便匆匆從3樓爬上26樓。

老朋友剛誕下超可愛男嬰。他睡着的時候，跟他在媽媽肚子裏照4D超聲波時的樣子一樣。6磅半的身體，輕輕的，好像非常脆弱，但這小個子為一個家庭帶來翻天覆地的改變，也為這個家庭帶來無窮喜樂（即是如果這小男生長大後溫文爾雅，事業有成的話；否則就真的生舊叉燒好過生他了，哈哈）。

朋友一邊笑說着餵奶換片的苦況，我一邊看着小男孩睡着時的表情。小孩子總是非常容易滿足，連睡着時也好像是笑着的。

二人世界變成三人行，生命突然多了很多未知之數；前路終點不再一樣，但任何事情，有三個人一起面對，便“落雨不怕，落雪也不怕”了。

Baby Talk

I had a meeting with a recruiter after work a few days ago, and what was supposed to be a get-to-know-the-candidate-betting meeting turned into a 1.5 hour conversation (or monologue or preaching) about babies as soon as the recruiter found out I got married two months ago.

Recruiter: So are you planning on having babies? Because if you aren't, you'd better do so now!

Me: .....

Recruiter: You know what, don't plan! Just do it! If you ever plan about having babies you will never have them, and before you blink another two years will have flown by and you will then regret why you didn't do it earlier, when your physical and mental health was in better shape.

Me: My hushand and I have a vague consensus that we want to enjoy couplehood for a few years before considering having babies.

Recruiter: No don't do that! How old are you now? [I told her] See you're not young anymore. You really should be making babies right now. Trust me, your whole life will change and you will be so happy when you have your own babies.

Me: [Trying to be polite] Hm... I will definitely discuss it with my husband tonight.

Recruiter: Don't discuss, just do it! Buy some sexy lingerie, stop taking the pills, throw away the condoms, whatever! Just make sure you make babies!

The recruiter got married a few years ago and now she has two children. I can tell she is very happy. She showed me the photos albums of her kids, told me how she enjoyed going to the movies with her daughter, how cute her son was. I was quite surpirsed when she told me she's older than me, because she looked almost 10 years younger than her real age. She is also very pretty and slim too. "It's so unfair", I told her jokingly.

By the time I looked at my watch, it was 7.30pm already (our meeting started at 6pm) and we had barely covered anything remotely job-related. We finished our meeting and the recruiter quickly rushed home to see her kids.

Luke 9:23

'If one day you could see Jesus in person and you say, "Jesus, tell me what you want me to do, and I will do it.", you know what Jesus will say? Two words: "Follow me."'

Yesterday we attended the Sunday service at a church different from the one we regularly go to. The sermon was precise and concise, and presented in a very interesting way (involving a hammer and a mirror and some smashing). Considering I usually have the memory of a goldfish, I can still remember most of the sermon and the message. I remember in particular what the pastor said above. I remember tears welled up in my eyes when he said that.

愛愛愛

我愛貓咪。貓咪愛伯伯。伯伯愛我。貓咪愛我。伯伯愛貓咪。我愛伯伯。

ＴＨＥ　ＥＮＤ。

驚心動魄上磅記

過了整整一個多月的狂歡作樂，今天早上終於要與久違了的電子磅say hello。

兩腳踏上去後，後悔也來不及，小小的液晶体顯示器已經顯示了一個足叫我差點暈倒的數字。這也怪不得，我早就知道那些雪糕啊，薯片啊，芝士餅啊，各種各類的甜品啊，等等等等是世紀大魔鬼，奈何自己意志力長久薄弱，面對這些香甜軟滑或脆卜卜的魔鬼時，想也不想，半點掙扎也沒有，就如螞蟻粘蜜糖般衝倒過去。 我愛零食，就好像女人愛壞男人一様，明知下場坎坷，也要燈蛾撲火。

唉，減肥戰爭又再正式開始...

噢，或者等我星期六打完邊爐才開始吧。

The Birthday Party

After a week of indulgence with wine, cheesecakes, tiramisu, Christmas puddings, left over turkey, crabcakes and vegetables, etc., life is back on its normal track now.

We had a great party at our place on Xmas night, and apparently everybody had a good time. We did Secret Santa (it's a kind of gift exchange in which you were told beforehand whom you are going to buy the present for but the recipient does not know it's coming from you - hence the Secret Santa - and he has to guess who the present's from), and it was the highlight of the night, apart from the yummy food and cocktail prepared by our friends.

As for New Year's Eve, I am not going to tell you what we did, except that it involves a very nice dinner, champagne, wine, good friends, dancing, throwing up, laughing and an expensive bill. We have photo-documented the whole night but I am waiting for someone to bribe me not to post them :)

The Christmas and New Year's bash aside, I am very thankful for all the blessings I was showered with in 2006. Christmas is about hope and faith and love. We celebrate Christmas because it is the birthday of our Savior, a baby sent to us by God to save us, and therefore we are cleansed of our sins and can start our lives anew, if only we have faith in Him. This is the true meaning of Christmas.

And what is a birthday party without food and booze and good friends?